__________

No, seriously…

Emus love Wal-Mart.

That’s news to me: VA tells woman she’s dead.

That’s assault, brotha: Schoolchildren in Colorado no longer allowed to play tag.

Woman makes it known that she’s paranoid and racist at San Fransisco airport.

British crooks try tunneling to ATM.

___________

Colorado QB Cody Hawkins on being “the coach’s kid.”

Hokies to honor shooting victims before Saturday’s game against ECU.

No favorites in Heisman race, says SI writer.

Gamecocks oft-arrested freshman quarterback Stephen Garcia gets redshirt.

ESPN takes over “Two-A-Days.”

Browns fans vote on Quinn’s coif, prefer it long.

Nice piece in the New York Times on Jets rookie linebacker David Harris.

A story in the Washington Post about the beasts USC has at linebacker.

Is the Big Ten overrated or did it have a bad week last year?

Hoosiers trying not to think about emotions as gameday without Hep approaches.

‘07 Gators have challenge ahead, say ‘97 Gators.

Georgia will be tested, says former Oklahoma State coach Les Miles.

Pac-10 has worst refs, coaches say.

Andy Reid should have stayed home to deal with family issues, Inquirer columnist says.

VT players prepare for rush of emotions Saturday afternoon.

Will Demetrius Jones start for Notre Dame Saturday?

Slate combs college message boards.

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette picks the top college football games this year.

Ainge breaks pinkie, will start Saturday.

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart predicts the conference champions.

The Big 12 eyes a return to the top.

The Pac-10 needs to make a BCS stand.

UCLA, Cal poses biggest threat to USC’s Pac-10 supremacy.

Cal’s strategy is simple: get the ball in the hands of DeSean Jackson.

____________

Well-rounded news…

Trailer up for Steve Carell’s new movie “Dan in Real Life”

MTV bored enough to make reality television show about high school newspaper.

So why are Americans eating so much shrimp?

The producers of Lost sound off on Island’s new residents.

Is there a Magneto movie in the works?

Cinematical misses the pre-Earl Jason Lee.

A very exciting week in my life as college football season starts officially on Thursday night and the first season of ‘Heroes’ releases on DVD tomorrow. Also on my mental calendar is the start of the NFL season, and the release of the third season of “The Office” next week and Judd Apatow’s “Knocked Up” on DVD.

__________

No, seriously… 

A Tennessee man was arrested for producing counterfeit “rain”.

Americans love shrimp.

__________

Yahoo’s Dan Wetzel thinks little league baseball players playing in Williamsport deserve to be paid.

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach on Nebraska starting quarterback Sam Keller.

Giants not interested in free agent linebacker Jeremiah Trotter.

Chad Johnson on Michael Vick.  

USC transfer Emmanuel Moody is transferring to Florida, paper says.

The $350,000 car owned by Bears linebacker Lance Briggs was found abandoned on the highway. Now, what would make someone abandon a $350,000 car after being involved in an accident? Did I mention the car was found at about 3:15 a.m. 

Rutgers RB Ray Rice eyes Heisman in ‘07.

Was the performance of punter Sav Rocca really the highlight of last night’s Eagles preseason game? Sigh. Game notes from Les Bowen. Bowen’s game story.

Sabres/Penguins to play outdoors on Jan. 1.

Hoosier guard A.J. Ratliff declared academically ineligible for first semester.

Five burning questions for Tennessee in ‘07.

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart with some interesting posts this weekend.

• Some final questions.
• Impact freshmen.
• Five best places to tailgate.

The AJC’s Jeff Schultz thinks Georgia is BCS Bowl-bound.

Arizona State quarterback Rudy Carpenter talks about the Sun Devils in ‘07.

Astros to retire Jeff Bagwell’s number.

A huge game for Oklahoma State this weekend at Georgia.

The San Fransisco Chronicle profiles Stanford head coach Jim Harbaugh.

ESPN’s Ivan Maisel’s five Big 12 predictions.

__________

Well-rounded news… 

The St. Pete Times has a fantastic political fact-checking website.

My thoughts are with Owen Wilson.

RESTAURANT WARS, PART 2

Can’t say I didn’t see it coming.

Dale’s assessment the Restaurant April team of Casey, Brian, C.J. and Tre was pretty spot on. Last week, having missed the first 15 minutes of the show and turning it on and see the Restaurant April squad, I turned to my girlfriend and said, “That team is loaded.” For all intents and purposes, the food coming out of that kitchen should have been spectacular and it wasn’t. Not once, but twice.

Trying to figure out who to blame for that failure was the major task handed to our judges this week. Should it be C.J., who picked the team and then did a spectacular job of dodging any responsibilty? Or should it be Tre, whose salmon dish made Ted Allen jerk back in his chair as if he were being electrocuted?

Well it was Tre. And having figured that this week, we would see one of the heavy hitters go home, I gotta say, I’m not terribly disappointed. Do I think Tre was one of the best chefs in the competition? I absolutely do but maybe he tried to shoulder too much of the workload given C.J.’s complete and utter failure to lead a team that he selected. There are lots of things that team could have done differently. Instead of having Tre handling three courses in a five course dinner, have Brian make SOMETHING. ANYTHING. I’ll leave Casey alone on her dull knife and dull-er still knife skills. Did she not understand that ‘quickfire’ means things need to happen in an expedited fashion? Evidently not, by the way she was methodically cutting that onion as if she were performing an autopsy.

On the other side, I was really impressed with Sara M. who really stepped up this week and took over the kitchen for the Garage team. Howie continues to prove that he is an absolute moron and Sara probably, and unfortunately, saved him from elimination by telling him to redo his lamb chops, which I believe were still “Baaaaa-ing.” I lambasted Sara for being the competition’s weakest chef remaining but she proved her value this week and stepped up.

I will have to say that my hands-down favorite moment this week was when Sara informed Hung that they were cooking for the eliminated Sara and Joey, Hung’s response was “Who’s Sara and Joey?” And then when being told who they were, he responded, “nice.” Priceless stuff.

Given the previews, I have no idea who is going home next week and given what happened this week, it really could be anyone. I hope it’s Howie, who’s nonstop posturing and know-it-all attitude combined with his subpar performance in the kitchen, is wearing thin on yours truly. This could be the week where the sweaty Floridian is finally sent packing. Fingers crossed.

As always, Bravo’s bloggers have something to say about the second half of Restaurant Wars, including a very strong opinion from season 1 winner Harold Dieterle.

• Tom Colicchio
  
• Anthony Bourdain
• Ted Allen

__________

No, seriously… 

Chalk this up to things you wish you hadn’t read.

Croatia to build potato theme park.

__________

Some high school kids in Colorado just got a very good quarterback coach.

Pete Kendall looks to ruin another locker room on the eastern seaboard.

IU to remember Coach Hep at home opener.

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach says the Big Ten is at a very important crossroads.  Easiest schedules of ‘07.

Was lashing out at Tiki the best thing Eli could have done for himself in the Giants locker room?

New York Daily News’ Mitch Lawrence calls Stephon Marbury’s defense of Michael Vick, “sick.”

Donovan McNabb seeking answers about Jeremiah Trotter’s release.

Ben Allen to transfer from IU.  This is a little inside baseball but I never thought Allen was tough enough to play in the Big Ten. He was slow, frankly non-athletic at times and didn’t show he could be an effective low-post defender or scorer for that matter. When you’re 6′11,” you really ought to have some sort of an inside game and Ben Allen didn’t. I think the fact that he was from Australia and was recruited to IU shortly after Andrew Bogut became the #1 overall pick made him appealing to the IU fanbase but his game never matched the hype. 

Peyton Manning takes up for this little bro.

Interesting piece in The State (Columbia, S.C.) about how Steve Spurrier and Tommy Bowden set goals for their respective teams.

Golden Bears eying revenge after last year’s blowout at Rocky Top.

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart on five moments that will shape the SEC this year.

There is still no word on who will start at QB for Florida State.

The Oklahoman’s Berry Tramel thinks recently-named Sooners starter Sam Bradford is on a very short leash.

__________

Well-rounded news… 

American Gladiators set to make primetime return.

Justice League flick to be motion capture? Barf.

___________

No, seriously… 

The cops in Oakland are mean.

Dog burglars on the loose in Seattle.

Boy ‘assaults’ elderly man with cocktail weiner.

__________

ESPN tries to make me hate college football with 25-hour pregame show.

Donovan McNabb blogs on the departure of veteran linebacker Jeremiah Trotter.

Stephen A. Smith will no longer be writing columns for the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Stephon Marbury proves once and for all that he grew up under powerlines.

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach with five predictions for the Big Ten.

Eli Manning and Tiki Barker are feuding over comments Barber made during the Giants preseason game on Sunday. New York Daily News.

USC’s Patrick Turner is ready for a breakout year at receiver.

TROT FALLOUT 

• Daily News’ Les Bowen
• ‘Shocked Trotter takes his release in stride,’ Ashley Fox
• ‘Trotter’s passage isn’t that shocking,’ Rich Hofman
• ‘Trotter grew into role as top Birds defender,’ Les Bowen

Eric Gordon and the other Hoosier freshmen in Kelvin Sampson’s sick’07 recruiting class have arrived on campus.. begin the countdown to Midnight Madness!

Michael Vick will not find a place to play in Canada.

Chiefs running back Larry Johnson ends holdout, inks new deal.

Browns target unruly fans.

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart wonders if Alabama can shock the college football world this fall. I’m going with no.

Kevin Costner to fight to keep the College World Series in Omaha.

NFL will be fine after Vick, says Tim Cowlishaw.

Oklahoma quarterback race over; Sam Bradford named starter.

Redskins rookie LaRon Landry drawing rave reviews.

___________

‘Heroes’ mania is too much, too soon, says Boston Globe critic.

Slashfilm’s ten best movie endings.. kind of a curious list.

Christian Bale not approached for Justice League movie.

A Ferris Bueller sequel? Oh no..  Is nothing sacred?

Bottom Line fave Cold War Kids plan headlining tour, do support dates for White Stripes.

I also saw Ron Howard’s The Paper with Michael Keaton, Glenn Close and Robert Duvall and really enjoyed it. I think it was very true to life at a newspaper and the actors were really convincing newspeople. I don’t think this film is as true to form as a picture like Shattered Glass but was every bit as enjoyable. The flick is perfect for a rainy day. Definitely worth a spot on your Netflix queue.

Currently blasting the speakers on my MacBook and in my car is Kanye West’s new single Stronger which features an amazing slowed-down sample of Daft Punk’s “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.” The song is fantastic and really embodies everything that I unashamedly love about Kanye West. The guy is inventive and not at all afraid to take risks. Can’t wait to pick up Graduation when it comes out on Sept. 11.

Worth mentioning was the trailer for Peter Berg’s The Kingdom that I saw before The Bourne Ultimatum, which I am more excited about then I can even describe. Jamie Foxx, Hillary Swank, Jason Bateman and the imcomparable Chris Cooper in what looks like it could be one of the best films of the year.

__________

No, seriously…

British teen OD’s on espresso.

Some moron paid more than $1,500 for an oil smudge on a garage floor in Virginia. It doesn’t even look like Jesus. Frankly, it looks like a goat.

__________

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach lists college football’s biggest secrets in ‘07.

Lawrence Taylor tells Michael Strahan to hang it up.

Saints linebacker Scott Fujita sets the record straight on his water park foot injury.

Pair of pieces from ESPN’s Pat Forde on Kentucky quarterback Andre Woodson and on Darren McFadden going pro after this season.

DC United player pissed about ESPN’s Beckham-centric MLS coverage.

Jon Gruden is still sifting through his pack of quarterbacks.

Not really news but I find it interesting that every week there is a letter from a reader in the Buffalo News about how awful Sabres management is. Every week, never fails.

Hoosiers hope to improve their pass rush. It really can’t get any worse.

The AJC’s Terence Moore wants Michael Vick’s staunchest supporters to wake up and smell the roses.

A nice piece in the Houston Chronicle on Texas A&M quarterback Stephen McGee.

Packers first-round pick Justin Harrell sees limited time in preseason opener. This might have been the worst first-round pick in last year’s draft.

In case you live in a cave: MADDEN COMES OUT TOMORROW!

Drew Henson fighting for his football life in Vikings camp.

Titans players defend their ownership of pit bulls.

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart on why the SEC is smiling and the things college football fans have learned a week into practice.

Oklahoma quarterback race still not decided.

__________

Three consumer groups have spoken out against the Whole Foods/Wild Oats merger.

Google to launch iTunes competitor, gBox.

Who owns what in today’s online media landscape.

Microsoft is hoping the release of the Halo 3 this winter can help the system rebound from hardware failures and slumping sales.

Christopher Nolan debuts some ‘Dark Knight’ footage at Chicago comic con. I can’t wait for this but it seems that the producers have gone 0-for-2 in my mind in the casting of Rachel Dawes’ character. First they casted Katie Holmes, who was the worst thing about Batman Begins and now they’ve gone out and gotten Maggie Gyllenhaal who is my least favorite actress on the planet. I have never seen a single film that she’s been in that I enjoyed. I hope she can change my mind.

Cinematical lists seven movie stars who are about to fall off the A-list.

Stereogum has the real cover of Kanye’s new record, Graduation.

Facebook makes the cover of Newsweek.

Newsweek’s 25 hottest universities.

As if you needed another reason to buy Kanye’s new record, 50 cent says that if West’s Graduation outsells his record, which comes out the same day, he’s going to stop making music. (Your lips to God’s ears, sir.)

Top Chef’s Sam Talbot on the now-infamous Rocco episode.

I plan on watching some NFL exhibition football for as long as I can stand it tonight (which could end up being the first quarter or so) but hey.. football’s back! Can’t feel too bad about that!

__________

No, seriously…

Beavers attacking the elderly.

Cops shouldn’t wear cowboys boots.. no one should really.

__________

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach looks at which college football coaches are on the hottest seats in 2007.

Arizona Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt takes his team to see The Bourne Ultimatum.

ESPN Ombudsman: ‘Who’s Now?’ draws venomous response from ESPN faithful.

Another story on the Virginia Tech football team, this time by SI’s Stewart Mandel.

More of Fanhouse’s Big 12 Preview:

• Toughest schedules
• Coaches on the hot seat
• Underdogs

ESPN’s Pat Forde on the war of words between Michigan and former player and current Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh. The Detroit Free Press’ Mark Snyder.

ESPN/ABC has released its schedule for the 2007 college football season.

Notable opinions: Mike Lupica, Michael Wilbon on Barry Bonds.

Racism in European soccer targeted at American DaMarcus Beasley.

Introducing, Steely McBeam, the new Pittsburgh Steelers mascot.

It’s never too early for an Indiana basketball story.

Brady Quinn expects to earn his lumps at Browns camp after holdout.

Steven Jackson shrugs off hard hits at Rams camp.

Another story from a paper outside Indiana about the start of Hoosiers football practice.

Joey Harrington says he was handcuffed by Lions.

Frank Beamer says he wasn’t accusing Georgia of spying on his practices.

Oklahoma defensive back Reggie Smith might be the best player you’ve never heard of.

Things get testy at USC camp.

__________

Well-rounded news…

30 percent of X-Box 360 owners don’t know the system performs in hi-def. I’m not one of them. It’s amazing.

What makes sweet tea so special in the South?

Kevin Smith on losing Rosario Dawson and his birthday.

Blockbuster acquires movie download service MovieLink.

Kevin Smith is not directing SuperMax.

Wild Oats profits fall through the floor.

Last night’s Top Chef

• Gail Simmons
  
• Ted Allen
• Anthony Bourdain

In more exciting news, my hometown,Terre Haute, Ind., totally got a shout-out during Tony Dungy’s appearance on Letterman last night to plug his new book.

__________

No, seriously…

A 16-year-old drove his truck to an island in the middle of a shallow Pennsylvania river and couldn’t get back.

Inmates split on Woody Allen.

__________

Eagles corner Sheldon Brown says leveling Reggie Bush in the playoffs last year was like running through a cardboard box.

New Steelers coach Mike Tomlin is already putting the team through the ringer.

What is Brady Quinn thinking? I think on draft day, everybody was kind of pulling for the guy to get drafted because of the embarrassment he caused himself by showing up to the draft without knowing where he would go or how far he’d fall. And now he has grossly overestimated his value and is pissing off an entire city that wants to embrace him. Cleveland wants to love Brady Quinn. He needs to quit acting like a petulant child and get to camp. What a dope.

You can still chew snuff at Tennessee football games but Neyland Stadium will now be smoke-free .

Bobby Petrino trying to keep the Falcons focused on the game on the field. Good luck.

LSU senior tailback Alley Broussard is leaving the team.

Matt Leinart’s legal battle with his ex-girlfriend Brynn Cameron could get very public and very messy.

Cotton Bowl executives are lobbying to make the Dallas-based bowl a BCS bowl.

SI’s Stewart Mandel on how the Michael Vick scandal has effected Virginia Tech.

Eagles draftee Kevin Kolb signs with the team. I was so hoping for a holdout.

Boise State running back (and publicity hound) Ian Johnson has hired extra security for his weekend wedding following racist threats.

___________

Well-rounded news…

USAToday profiles fanboys.

Naomi Watt, Stuart Townsend and Joseph Fiennes have all been cast for roles in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Not so fast.

Blockbuster may be losing money but it’s beating Netflix, says BusinessWeek.

Facebook founder finds himself in court; being sued by former colleagues.

Though relatively small companies, XM and Sirius merger is huge for the future of satellite radio, says Washington Post.

Has the mystery behind J.J. Abrams’ “mystery” project been solved?

How a movie poster got me totally excited for a Western.

The cover of Bottom Line fav. Kanye West’s new album, Graduation.

Blender’s top 25 most influential people in online music.

The Huffington Post’s Eric Williams thinks a Seth Rogan-led Green Hornet movie, or any Green Hornet movie, is a bad idea.

__________

No, seriously…

The French government has installed two toilets at the top of Mont Blac, Europe’s highest peak, which will have to be emptied by helicopter.

Great white sharks apparently don’t like kayakers.

__________

How effective will Rams first round pick Adam Carriker be at defensive tackle? I saw Carriker practice at the Senior Bowl and he’s got it all. He’s very quick, has great feet and hands and an unbelievable motor. The Rams shouldn’t over-think this. Leave Carriker at end. 

Great column in today’s Washington Post by columnist Sally Jenkins about the NBA ref scandal.

George Brett and the greatest gameday promotion ever.

Tennessee joins the list of schools who do not plan to drug test its high school athletes. I think a lot of these states are doing a big thing badly. If you think that steroid use and the use of performance enhancing drugs by high school athletes is limited to states like Texas and Florida, you’re kidding yourself. 

Florida basketball lines up another lackluster non-conference schedule.

Butch Davis on trying to rebuild the UNC football program.

Les Miles backs down from USC/Pac-10 comments. Not a bad idea, coach. Maybe Les peeped the Trojans’ depth chart.

Bobby Bowden has high expectations for his pair of (so far) underachieving quarterbacks.

AJC columnist Terence Moore says there is no way Michael Vick ever plays for the Falcons again.

Bob Stoops says he’s in no hurry to name his starting quarterback. At some point, this is just arrogance. Quarterback by committee has never worked anywhere. The Sooners need a starter. 

Carmelo Anthony follows Edgerrin James’ lead; introduces ‘the new Melo.’

Fellow Huskers impressed so far with new quarterback Sam Keller. I kind of think Keller is a baby. When Dirk Koetter didn’t name him starter at Arizona State, instead of staying and fighting it out with Rudy Carpenter, he immediately packed up and left. His mental toughness is certainly suspect.  

Mizzou coach calls QB Chase Daniel “amazing.”

__________

Response from last night’s YouTube debates is in. (New York Times/Time Magazine’s TV Blog/Jeff Jarvis). To be honest, I didn’t find this all that spectacular. The questions were predictable and kind of average. They certainly were no different than any question posed to the candidates during a traditional debate. I’ve decided that while I think Obama is the more viable candidate and certainly someone I would vote for, I love Joe Biden, even if he puts his foot in his mouth — a lot. Oh and as anyone who watched last night will tell you, Sen. Mike Gravel is nuts.

Premiere Magazine’s list of 10 TV shows that should be movies.

Is Netflix in trouble?

NBC is being sued after someone caught on Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator” series killed himself. While it is difficult to argue with the intent of this series, as a journalist, I do not feel in any way that reporters should be doing the police’s job for them and making the news. It was really only a matter of time before this happened.  

Teen Vogue to fold? Where will LC “work?” 

Part 2 in Entertainment Weekly’s Top 50 Best Love Songs ever.

The Cinematical on how much a critic should spoil a film when writing a review. When writing reviews and when I did the Industry Outsider podcast, I tried to always be respectful of the readers and listeners who hadn’t seen the film. To not do that, in my opinion, is an arrogant and pompous things to do because at that point you are not writing the review for anyone else, you’re writing it for your own self-satisfaction.

TiVo to debut a $299.99 HD DVR. Nice. I think this will prove to be the right price point for this product.

CBS’ Public Eye on how the internet has become the destroyer of financial models.

___________

No, seriously…

More than 500 people are reporting symptoms of food poisoning after Taste of Chicago.

A Florida man called 911 because he was surrounded by police and needed help.

___________

The Titans are finding that replacing a felonious defensive back is harder than it might seem.

The Wall Street Journal’s Jason Fry examines the idiocy of the NFL’s new 45-second rule.

Is there beef between Matt Leinart and Ben Roethlisberger?

With the Bobcats trading for Jason Richardson and re-signing Gerald Wallace, the Fanhouse wonders if there’s room for Adam Morrison in Charlotte?

After signing defensive tackle Cory Redding to a contract that doesn’t make sense, the Lions will likely be facing a holdout from its top pick Calvin Johnson.

Edgerrin James is ditching his gold teeth.

In 14 months, at least six Baltimore-area high school athletes were KIA in Iraq.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch’s Kathleen Nelson looks at some possible NFL reality shows to hold you over until Week 1.

Has Barry Bonds caused a riff on Fox’s baseball telecasts?

Great story in the Kansas City Star about how fans punctuate milestone moments in their lives in stadiums.

The Oklahoman’s John Rohde on what he thinks will keep him entertained until the start of football season.

Fun story in the Denver Post today about celebrity golf tournaments.

__________

Well-rounded news…

Apple has filed a patent for a backlit trackpad.

Broadband speed in the U.S. stinks.

The first four episodes of fourth season of The Office will be an hour long.

Is NBC revamping American Gladiators?

Bloc Party frontman Kele Okereke has a unique way of dealing with the paparazzi.