__________

No, seriously…

Emus love Wal-Mart.

That’s news to me: VA tells woman she’s dead.

That’s assault, brotha: Schoolchildren in Colorado no longer allowed to play tag.

Woman makes it known that she’s paranoid and racist at San Fransisco airport.

British crooks try tunneling to ATM.

___________

Colorado QB Cody Hawkins on being “the coach’s kid.”

Hokies to honor shooting victims before Saturday’s game against ECU.

No favorites in Heisman race, says SI writer.

Gamecocks oft-arrested freshman quarterback Stephen Garcia gets redshirt.

ESPN takes over “Two-A-Days.”

Browns fans vote on Quinn’s coif, prefer it long.

Nice piece in the New York Times on Jets rookie linebacker David Harris.

A story in the Washington Post about the beasts USC has at linebacker.

Is the Big Ten overrated or did it have a bad week last year?

Hoosiers trying not to think about emotions as gameday without Hep approaches.

‘07 Gators have challenge ahead, say ‘97 Gators.

Georgia will be tested, says former Oklahoma State coach Les Miles.

Pac-10 has worst refs, coaches say.

Andy Reid should have stayed home to deal with family issues, Inquirer columnist says.

VT players prepare for rush of emotions Saturday afternoon.

Will Demetrius Jones start for Notre Dame Saturday?

Slate combs college message boards.

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette picks the top college football games this year.

Ainge breaks pinkie, will start Saturday.

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart predicts the conference champions.

The Big 12 eyes a return to the top.

The Pac-10 needs to make a BCS stand.

UCLA, Cal poses biggest threat to USC’s Pac-10 supremacy.

Cal’s strategy is simple: get the ball in the hands of DeSean Jackson.

____________

Well-rounded news…

Trailer up for Steve Carell’s new movie “Dan in Real Life”

MTV bored enough to make reality television show about high school newspaper.

So why are Americans eating so much shrimp?

The producers of Lost sound off on Island’s new residents.

Is there a Magneto movie in the works?

Cinematical misses the pre-Earl Jason Lee.

____________

No, seriously…. 

Getting drunk and feeding bears is a really bad idea.

___________

Iowa State fans will get a chance to vote on the Cyclones’ new helmet design.

Interesting piece on Louisiana native and Hoosier corner Tracy Porter.

A scathing indictment of Michael Vick by AJC columnist Jeff Schultz.

The Dallas Morning News’ Jean-Jacques Taylor argues that Vick should not get a lifetime ban from the NFL.

The Eagles have parted ways with veteran linebacker Jeremiah Trotter.

___________

Well-rounded news… 

HD DVD scores in battle with Blu-ray.

Is MTV scared of internet music?

Rumor has it, Ryan Reynolds will play The Flash in a future Justice League flick.

The Movie Blog advocates banning cell phones in movie theaters.

Wolfmother frontman gets into it with groupie over cell phone picture.

Disney concludes that Harry Potter theme park would be an expensive nightmare, says Slate.

__________

No, seriously… 

A chinese couple have tried to name their baby ‘@’.

A man in Muncie is my new hero.

__________

Fanhouse’s Big East preview.

• Impact freshmen.
  
• Top 5 players
• Coaches on the hot seat.
• Five biggest games
• Most underrated.

Georgia Tech QB punks defensive end in practice.

The Philadelphia Daily News’ Les Bowen says it may not be time to give up the Eagles defense — yet.

Eagles guard Shawn Andrews is having ankle problems and defensive end Jerome McDougle is out for the year — again, securing his place as one of the biggest first-round busts in franchise history.

The Washington Post’s Michael Wilbon on gambling in sports.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette’s Ron Cook thinks the Steelers must start 2nd year Santonio Holmes.

The Detroit Red Wings have unveiled their new sweaters — which look just like the old ones.

Chris Leak is strugg-a-ling to make the Bears roster.

Jon Gruden is tired of talking about Chris Simms.

SI writer Cory McCartney breaks down the nation’s top rushing tandems. 

More of ESPN’s breakdown of the top conferences in college football.

• Pac 10 vs. Big Ten
• SEC vs. Big 12

Pat Forde says SEC is king.

New York Red Bulls player blogs for the Times about meeting Beckham.

__________

Apparently there’s a fetus on facebook.

Slate’s Jack Shafer thinks newspaper need to admit more of their factual errors in print.

Edward Norton talks to the Los Angeles Times about his Incredible Hulk script.

Entertainment Weekly reviews the Seth Rogan-penned, Judd Apatow-produced Superbad.

       RESTAURANT WARS 

As the contestants stated, Restaurant Wars has become one of the most anticipated challenge and last night may have shed some very interesting light on how the judges are viewing the chefs this season. It appears as if they have adapted a “what have you done for me lately?” kind of attitude and are taking the chefs on a challenge-by-challenge basis. I think this is the wrong way to go and ultimately will leave us with another lackluster winner (sorry Ilan) at the end of the season. Judging by the previews, I think one of the heavy-hitters (see: Casey, C.J., Tre, Brian) could be leaving us next week.

This week (SPOILER ALERT) no one went home though there were some candidates for knife-packing. Howie, once again, continues to show that he knows everything and no one else knows anything. Like last week with his Cuban, Howie ran his mouth about how he knew how to cook risotto and has cooked it 100 times and proceeds, in true Howie fashion, to butcher it. It’s time to send Howie home and be done with his bullheaded stupidity once and for all.

Sara continues to ride the middle of the road and goes out of her way to fly under the radar. I don’t think she’s going home next week though she is clearly the least talented chef still in the competition at this point.

Dale’s choice of scented candles for his team’s restaurant almost cost him last night. But the chefs got a hold of themselves and remembered that this is Top Chef not Top Design and spared Dale. Likewise for Brian who ran the front of the house about as badly as you could have. The secret dinner guest/blogger took a shot at his sweatiness and on behalf of sweaty dudes everywhere, I feel ya Malarkey. Walk it off.

Tre burned and then inexplicably served potatoes that he knew were burned and it probably should have cost him last night. I think he’s one of the strongest chefs in the competition but has to be much smarter about what he’s putting on the plate.

Some other takes on this week’s episode:

• Anthony Bourdain
  
• Gail Simmons
• Ted Allen
• Huffington Post blogger Jane McGivney
• EW’s Gregory Kirschling

I plan on watching some NFL exhibition football for as long as I can stand it tonight (which could end up being the first quarter or so) but hey.. football’s back! Can’t feel too bad about that!

__________

No, seriously…

Beavers attacking the elderly.

Cops shouldn’t wear cowboys boots.. no one should really.

__________

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach looks at which college football coaches are on the hottest seats in 2007.

Arizona Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt takes his team to see The Bourne Ultimatum.

ESPN Ombudsman: ‘Who’s Now?’ draws venomous response from ESPN faithful.

Another story on the Virginia Tech football team, this time by SI’s Stewart Mandel.

More of Fanhouse’s Big 12 Preview:

• Toughest schedules
• Coaches on the hot seat
• Underdogs

ESPN’s Pat Forde on the war of words between Michigan and former player and current Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh. The Detroit Free Press’ Mark Snyder.

ESPN/ABC has released its schedule for the 2007 college football season.

Notable opinions: Mike Lupica, Michael Wilbon on Barry Bonds.

Racism in European soccer targeted at American DaMarcus Beasley.

Introducing, Steely McBeam, the new Pittsburgh Steelers mascot.

It’s never too early for an Indiana basketball story.

Brady Quinn expects to earn his lumps at Browns camp after holdout.

Steven Jackson shrugs off hard hits at Rams camp.

Another story from a paper outside Indiana about the start of Hoosiers football practice.

Joey Harrington says he was handcuffed by Lions.

Frank Beamer says he wasn’t accusing Georgia of spying on his practices.

Oklahoma defensive back Reggie Smith might be the best player you’ve never heard of.

Things get testy at USC camp.

__________

Well-rounded news…

30 percent of X-Box 360 owners don’t know the system performs in hi-def. I’m not one of them. It’s amazing.

What makes sweet tea so special in the South?

Kevin Smith on losing Rosario Dawson and his birthday.

Blockbuster acquires movie download service MovieLink.

Kevin Smith is not directing SuperMax.

Wild Oats profits fall through the floor.

Last night’s Top Chef

• Gail Simmons
  
• Ted Allen
• Anthony Bourdain

__________

No, seriously…

Is that a monkey under your hat or are you just happy to see me?

__________

ESPN’s Pat Forde says quarterbacks have a lot to prove in ‘07.

Washington Post piece on Indiana football as they begin practice after the death of Coach Hep.

Brady Quinn finally signs with the Browns.

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach looks at what’s hot and what’s not in 2007.

Fanhouse sizes up the Big 12

• Impact freshmen
• Key position battles
• Five best players
• Most underrated players
• Most overrated players

Fanhouse lists SEC’s five best players not named McFadden.
Marshawn Lynch has been impressive so far at Bills camp.

Larry Bird and Jermaine O’Neal claim they’re on the same page.

Michigan State’s starting quarterback thinks the Spartans will be way better than .500 this year.

Tennessee’s leading rusher has been suspended indefinitely.

Braves legend Dale Murphy says Barry Bonds is a terrible example for kids.

Virginia Tech head coach Frank Beamer might be a little crazy.

Danica Patrick snipes at Dan Wheldon… again. Danica, just win a race. Just one and then maybe the rest of the sports world will take you seriously. Until then, Wheldon’s assessment of your ridiculous temper tantrums seem pretty spot on.  

Some in Niners camp are worried second-year tight end (and draft day weeper) Vernon Davis is becoming the second-coming of T.O.

Reggie Miller is considering a comeback… with the Boston Celtics. As a Pacer fan, I was happy to see Reggie go when he did. He couldn’t play defefnse, was inconsistent from beyond the arc and was a shell of the player he was in his prime when he finally called it quits. But if I were in the building when Reg makes his return to Indy, I’d boo him out of the building. What about a little loyalty for a fanbase that stood by you and worshipped you when you stank on ice? And now you’re going to comeback for one last grab at a ring and you think the Celts have the best chance of taking you there with Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce? Shameless.

__________

Well-rounded news…

Rosario Dawson has opted out of a role written for her by Kevin Smith.

Coming soon to a theatre near you.. a Meerkat Manor movie?

Could Kristen Bell be joining the cast of Lost?

VH1 is streaming the new Matt Nathanson record, ‘Some Mad Hope‘

Slate Magazine reviews the new Scott Baio reality show, which I enjoy without shame.

The editor of the page one editor Orange County Register is awesome.

Forbes looks at the top ten cities for foodies.

An update on the Newseum in Washington, DC.

Kevin Smith to direct a Super Max movie.

Another J.J. Abrams mystery project? How much more J.J. Abrams-related mystery is one person expected to handle? 

Project Runway season 1 winner fires back at New York Magazine article, particularly the part about him being homeless.

Entertainment Weekly catalogs the best movie endings of all-time.

EW’s Lost expert Doc Jensen dismisses some Lost rumors and myths in the show’s post-season 3 hiatus.

Ohio State University wants its students to rat on each other.

___________

No, seriously…

Cops in Bangkok love Hello Kitty…

A man in Denver tries to rob a library.

__________

The Indiana Daily Student says tight end Blake Powers’ arrest for accidentally throwing a water balloon at an off-duty cop is indicative of a large problem. I think it’s a slow summer and they’re over-reacting.

Steve Spurrier is really not that stoked about South Carolina’s admission process.

Jamarcus Russell’s holdout to go into September? It’s hard not to be reminded of what happened with Philip Rivers in. He held out, missed a bunch of camp and Drew Brees came in and revamped his career. Could the same thing happen with Daunte Culpepper?

Sports Illustrated’s Peter King checks in from training camp.

Jermaine O’Neal wants to be dealt to the Lakers. As a Pacer fan, I think J.O. is a complete malcontent and hasn’t shown up to play for the Pacers in at least two seasons. If the Pacers can get value for him (which I don’t think they can — Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom is not going to cut it) then they should deal him.

The Fanhouse has begun its SEC preview. Good stuff.

• The underdogs.
• The toughest schedules.
• The conference’s most overrated players.
• Coaches on the hot seat.
• Biggest shoes to fill.
• Position battles.
• Five impact freshmen.

Slate magazine wonders what it would be like if all the major sports allowed doping.

New York’s ten best interviews in sports.

The Indianapolis Star’s Terry Hutchens on the Hoosiers first day of football practice.

The Detroit Free Press on what to watch this year from Michigan/Michigan State.

Matt Flynn is ready to go as LSU quarterback.

Will highly touted Tennessee freshmen cornerback Eric Berry also see time at QB?

There is no question that Georgia will only go as far as Matthew Stafford can take them.

Freshmen looking to make a difference for Gators.

Texas rookie Amobi Okoye on his childhood in Nigeria.

__________

Well rounded news….

New York Magazine on being a Bravo reality star.

Some really amazing fan-made posters for the new J.J. Abrams project, whatever the name of that is.

Steve Jobs IMs the Times?

The San Fransisco Chronicle’s Mick LaSalle asks who is the greatest living director?

Tom Hanks to star in Farenheit 451?

The Philadelphia Inquirer’s 2007 songs of summer.

No notion could possibly be more preposterous. To suggest that the ESPYs mean serve any other function than to further exalt ESPN to its rightful place as the Worldwide Leaders in Sports is completely ridiculous. Say some punt returner wins an ESPY for Play of the Year. If that same player were to go to his respective team when his contracted expired and say, “Hey, I think I deserve to make this much as an ESPY winner.” Chances are he’d get laughed out of the room. Now if an actor won an Oscar or an Emmy, their value to studios or networks increases exponentially and it can be used as a bargaining chip. The ESPYs are nothing more than a completely contrived product of ESPN and should not be taken seriously in any way, shape or form.

__________

No, seriously…

You should really get rid of any drugs on your person before asking the cops for a ride home.

A Florida woman complained to a cop that a man had sold her bad crack.

A man crashed into a South Carolina police officer with 43 pounds of marijuana in his car.

Telemarketing isn’t for everyone.

__________

Newsweek’s Devin Gordon questions the role ESPN plays in today’s sports landscape.

Carson Palmer points out some of Ed Reed’s weaknesses as a safety.

NFL commish Roger Goodell reduced the 4-game suspension of Chiefs defensive end Jared Allen to just two games to match his two drunk driving arrests.

New Orleans is trying to convince the NFL to move the NFL Draft to the Big Easy.

South Carolina freshman quarterback Stephen Garcia is real close to getting himself kicked off the team. This kid can’t seem to keep himself out of trouble and as far as character issues are concerned, he has to raise about every red flag there is. I guess if you can throw a football 60 yards on the fly, it doesn’t matter if you key a professor’s car.

The finale of the Fanhouse’s best quarterbacks of the SEC.. guess who’s number 1?

On the night of the NBA draft, the New Jersey Nets reportedly passed on a deal that would have sent Jermaine O’Neal to the Nets for Richard Jefferson, Nenad Krstic and Jason Collins.

Madden champions might be awarded championship rings.

The Baton Rouge Advocate’s Scott Rabalais warns not to expect any changes to the BCS anytime soon.

A nice story about Deion Sanders in today’s Dallas Morning News.

The Arizona Super Bowl Host Committee is expecting 800 to 1,000 corporate jets to descend on area airports when the Super Bowl is played in February.

Apparently, I’m not the only one who hates ESPN’s stupid ‘Who’s Now?’ tournament.

Sports blog Awful Announcing explains why so many people hate ESPN.

__________

Well-rounded news…

Slate questions Toyota’s “Little Deviants” ad campaign. I felt the same way the author of this piece does when I first saw this spot. It was before a movie and I was sitting there thinking, “Wow, this is really violent and inappropriate.” I think whoever greenlighted this campaign could end up paying for it with their job.

Robert De Niro’s next foray into directing will be a depiction of the 1949 Chinese Revolution.

Fox is keeping a very tight lid on the new Simpsons Movie and most critics won’t see the film until three days before it hits movie theatres everywhere. I’ll be very interested to see how this film does. I don’t think that anyone I know watches the Simpsons with any regularity but I still think the popularity of the series is undeniable and I think the movie will do very well… not Harry Potter well.. but it will rake in some box office bucks..

Johanna Bennett, ex-girlfriend of Arctic Monkeys frontman Alex Turner, talks about how the pair co-wrote the band’s infectious “Fluorescent Adolescent.”

The fourth season of Bottom Line fav Top Chef will be shot in Chicago.

Bravo will premiere eight, one-hour episodes of “Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style,” starting in September. They’ve ordered another season of Project Runway but last I’d heard it was not certain that Gunn would return for a fourth season. Just a memo to Bravo, no more Shear Genius or Top Design, no one’s watching and those shows are garbage.

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