A couple thoughts on last night’s Chiefs/Dolphins preseason game. It’s hard to take preseason performances seriously especially when you’re talking about potential starters but Trent Green did not look good last night. He underthrew a couple receivers and continued to look rusty. Ronnie Brown, who looked great last night, will be forced to carry a lot of the load for that offense if Green doesn’t become the efficient and accurate passer he once was. For the Chiefs, it’s clear that Damon Huard should be the week one starter if KC is to compete in the AFC West with Denver and San Diego.

Everyone throw a couple of prayers up to the big guy for Donovan McNabb who makes his return to the field tonight. I worry that he rushed his rehab after the Birds took Kevin Kolb in the draft and that knee is not ready. We’ll see. I’m hoping for the best.

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No, seriously… 

Even insurance fraud can be painful.

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D-Nabb returns to the field tonight.

The Big Ten Network isn’t being picked up by cable carriers.

USC tailback Emmanuel Moody is headed out of L.A.

Miami Herald columnist wonders if Trent Green can still be good.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers want a cooler training camp facility at Walt Disney World.

The Orlando Sentinel on Chris Simms’ fall from grace.

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Netflix to drop prices yet again to compete with Blockbuster.

Disney’s Hollywood Studio to have an entire land dedicated to George Lucas?

The Huffington Post’s Liza Palmer on why Lost is like a bad relationship.

A whopping 18 stills from The Dark Knight!

Move-in day on the campus of Virginia Tech.

I have officially joined the TiVo revolution. While it is an unbelievable technology, it will not official begin paying dividends in my life until football season where I’ll be able to TiVo games that I won’t be able to watch. An added bonus is that I get to watch shows that I used to watch in college that I am now too old to stay up for (i.e. Conan). So far, I’m very impressed.

__________

No, seriously… 

A chinese couple have tried to name their baby ‘@’.

A man in Muncie is my new hero.

__________

Fanhouse’s Big East preview.

• Impact freshmen.
  
• Top 5 players
• Coaches on the hot seat.
• Five biggest games
• Most underrated.

Georgia Tech QB punks defensive end in practice.

The Philadelphia Daily News’ Les Bowen says it may not be time to give up the Eagles defense — yet.

Eagles guard Shawn Andrews is having ankle problems and defensive end Jerome McDougle is out for the year — again, securing his place as one of the biggest first-round busts in franchise history.

The Washington Post’s Michael Wilbon on gambling in sports.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette’s Ron Cook thinks the Steelers must start 2nd year Santonio Holmes.

The Detroit Red Wings have unveiled their new sweaters — which look just like the old ones.

Chris Leak is strugg-a-ling to make the Bears roster.

Jon Gruden is tired of talking about Chris Simms.

SI writer Cory McCartney breaks down the nation’s top rushing tandems. 

More of ESPN’s breakdown of the top conferences in college football.

• Pac 10 vs. Big Ten
• SEC vs. Big 12

Pat Forde says SEC is king.

New York Red Bulls player blogs for the Times about meeting Beckham.

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Apparently there’s a fetus on facebook.

Slate’s Jack Shafer thinks newspaper need to admit more of their factual errors in print.

Edward Norton talks to the Los Angeles Times about his Incredible Hulk script.

Entertainment Weekly reviews the Seth Rogan-penned, Judd Apatow-produced Superbad.

       RESTAURANT WARS 

As the contestants stated, Restaurant Wars has become one of the most anticipated challenge and last night may have shed some very interesting light on how the judges are viewing the chefs this season. It appears as if they have adapted a “what have you done for me lately?” kind of attitude and are taking the chefs on a challenge-by-challenge basis. I think this is the wrong way to go and ultimately will leave us with another lackluster winner (sorry Ilan) at the end of the season. Judging by the previews, I think one of the heavy-hitters (see: Casey, C.J., Tre, Brian) could be leaving us next week.

This week (SPOILER ALERT) no one went home though there were some candidates for knife-packing. Howie, once again, continues to show that he knows everything and no one else knows anything. Like last week with his Cuban, Howie ran his mouth about how he knew how to cook risotto and has cooked it 100 times and proceeds, in true Howie fashion, to butcher it. It’s time to send Howie home and be done with his bullheaded stupidity once and for all.

Sara continues to ride the middle of the road and goes out of her way to fly under the radar. I don’t think she’s going home next week though she is clearly the least talented chef still in the competition at this point.

Dale’s choice of scented candles for his team’s restaurant almost cost him last night. But the chefs got a hold of themselves and remembered that this is Top Chef not Top Design and spared Dale. Likewise for Brian who ran the front of the house about as badly as you could have. The secret dinner guest/blogger took a shot at his sweatiness and on behalf of sweaty dudes everywhere, I feel ya Malarkey. Walk it off.

Tre burned and then inexplicably served potatoes that he knew were burned and it probably should have cost him last night. I think he’s one of the strongest chefs in the competition but has to be much smarter about what he’s putting on the plate.

Some other takes on this week’s episode:

• Anthony Bourdain
  
• Gail Simmons
• Ted Allen
• Huffington Post blogger Jane McGivney
• EW’s Gregory Kirschling

Currently loving Common’s new record, Finding Forever. Simply put the guy is one of the most clever and talented lyricists in history. The beginning of the record reminds me of the Black Star and Common’s collaboration with Lilly Allen is amazing and infectious and as always Kanye’s appearances on this record are memorable and bump-worthy.

Monday I mentioned seeing the trailer for The Kingdom and being really excited about it. One of the other trailers before the Bourne Ultimatum was for Ridley Scott’s American Gangster staring Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe and… Common. Check it out.

Please enable Javascript and Flash to view this Flash video.

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No, seriously…

A 10-year-old accidentally locked himself in a gun safe at a Massachusetts’ Sam’s Club.

An Australian cattle rancher spent a week in a tree after falling off his horse in a swamp chock-full of alligators.

__________

ESPN has launched bracket-style tournament to decide which conference will be strongest in 2007.

• ACC vs. Big 12
• Pac 10 vs. Mountain West
• WAC vs. Conference USA
• WAC vs. SEC

SI writer says USC freshman Joe McKnight is the second coming of Reggie Bush.

Fanhouse’s Pac 1o preview.

• Coaches on the hot seat.
• The teams not named USC or Cal.
  
• Top 5 games.
  
• Most underrated players.

A member of the Rutger’s Women’s Basketball team is suing Don Imus for defamation of character. This woman doesn’t have a snowball’s chance of winning this suit because her attorneys will have a very difficult time showing that she was specifically damaged by a comment that was made about a group of individuals, comments where no one was named individually. It would be the equivalent of someone saying that all Destin Log reporters were illiterate and possibly in-bred and then me trying to sue that person for defamation. You can’t sue someone for hurting your feelings — at least not yet.

John Smallwood on why it’s ok to overreact about the Eagles’ preseason snooze-fest. The Eagles are apparently not worried.

The New York Times says the greatest threat to Michael Vick’s future in the NFL may not be dogfighting specifically but rather the money he may or may not have gambled on dogfighting.

Giants rookie wideout Steve Smith has the Giants very excited.

Indiana football players will wear a helmet decal and a patch on their jerseys in memory of Coach Hep.

Photo: Sam Riche/ Indianapolis Star

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart lists his must-watch games of 2007.

With a bunch of youth and inexperience, the Orlando Sentinel’s Dave Curtis says Florida will experience some growing pains in ‘07.

Going to Broncos’ games help Darrent Williams’ mother cope with her son’s death.

Ankle problems seem to be plaguing Florida wide receiver Percy Harvin.

An interesting piece on hetero-lifemates, Urban Meyer and Billy Donovan, which features this photograph:

Whoever pranked neanderthal tight end Jeremy Shockey is officially my new hero.

Dan Patrick is back on ESPN radio for the next three days and word is Colin Cowherd will not be taking his place.

Peter King’s All-Future team.

Apparently there was a confrontation at a UCLA pick-up game between Baron Davis and USC FRESHMAN O.J. Mayo. You don’t think this kid’s going to be a total headache, do you Tim Floyd? Good luck.

The AJC’s Terence Moore thinks if Michael Vicks takes a plea deal, he’ll likely be banned from the NFL for a long time.

__________

Well-rounded news… 

An interesting take on journalistic objectivity and politics.

Peer-to-peer file sharing network Lime Wire appears to be going legit.

My So-Called Life movie not likely, says Claire Danes.

The Knocked Up dvd will hit stores Sept. 25 with three editions.

Daft Punk is looking to release a live CD.

Site of Coachella 300 years overdue for a massive earthquake.

Well Madden 08 comes out today and I’m still at work so I guess that means I’m a grown-up now. Excited to play the game, read some reviews and I’m pretty ready to see what it’s like. May hold off for a week or so before picking it up due to a possibly large purchase by yours truly later this week. More details to come on that.

I am definitely keeping an eye on this tropical storm that is headed this way. I have lived in Destin for a little over a year now and the closest I’ve ever come to experiencing a hurricane was Tropical Storm Alberto that steered clear of here but still kicked up some waves and some wind. Not real interested in experiencing a major hurricane. Fingers crossed.

__________

A really interesting article in the Rocky Mountain News on Javon Walker and how he is dealing, or not dealing, with the shooting death of teammate Darrent Williams.

The New Orleans Times-Picayune ponders what a LSU/USC BCS title game would be like. One word: delicious. 

Arkansas suffers a tough loss on offense.

Washington Post columnist Norman Chad on how sports journalists have infilitrated radio and TV, for better or worse.

An early Fanhouse review of Madden 08.

Philadelphia sports writers react to last night’s preseason thumping.

• Les Bowen: Nearly pointless
• Phil Sheridan: Kolb’s debut not fantastic, not terrible
• Dana Pennett O’Neil: Rookie tight end impressive in opener.
• John Smallwood: Kolb’s schooling just beginning.

The Washington Post’s Michael Wilbon on the mess at Ball State.

A nice Indy Star piece on Marvin Harrison.

Is The Big Ten college football’s most overrated conference?

South Carolina looking desperately for an offensive line.

Vince Young apologizes for one-game suspension.

Michael Vick’s attorneys are working on a plea deal.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers wish tight end Alex Smith was as good at real football as he is at Madden.

Broncos cornerback Dominique Foxworth frustrated with lack of playing time.  Foxworth is a good young corner and everyone had to have seen this coming when the Broncos acquired Dre Bly in the off-season. My guess is that Foxworth will become such a headache that the Broncos will end up shopping him around next off season barring an injury to Dre Bly or Champ Bailey.

__________

Well-rounded news… 

Apple to pit iPhone against Nintendo DS.

Kevin Smith to cast Jason Bateman as male lead in upcoming romantic comedy?

Title of new Punisher flick ensure it’s going to be terrible.

The Bostonist chats it up with Bottom Line fav. Matt Nathanson, whose new album Some Mad Hope comes out today.

Yesterday was kind of a busy day here in Destin, ran around and had a bunch of interviews for Saturday’s paper so I didn’t get a chance to post a Line or an SEC preview. Today’s Line will be stories from yesterday as well as stories from today.

____________

No, seriously…

Pittsburgh hospital takes a stand against crocs.

AMC doesn’t carry nickels?

Apparently life is tough when you share a name with a boy wizard.

___________

Is this the last year for D-Nabb in Philly?

McNabb appears to be showing promise early in training camp.

The Ocho Cinco has some money set aside for fines.

More of the Fanhouses Big Ten preview:

• Most overrated players
• Coaches on the hot seat
• Key position battles
• The five best players
• The underdogs
• Toughest schedules

Penn State QB Anthony Morelli is confident but is he overconfident?

Virginia Tech hopes football season will mark a return to normalcy.

Joe Theismann says he urged Tony Kornheiser to stick with Monday Night Football.

Eagles fans crash Cowboys training camp.

The Colts are parting ways with defensive tackle Corey Simon.

Pro d-backs put Indiana wideout James Hardy through his paces.

‘Browns insider’ says Brady Quinn’s agent is the reason rookie QB isn’t in camp yet.

Wolverine players tell Jim Harbaugh where to go over academic criticisms.

SI’s Peter King says Brady Quinn is a fool for not being in camp.

What a dope Michael Strahan is.

Joe Paterno considers staying in the press box. Consider this — retire.

Wilbon on the death of Bill Walsh.

IU to pay tribute to Coach Hep on uniforms, helmets.

Big Ten commish Jim Delaney proving once more that he really is a complete idiot.

UCF is loving their new digs.

Baton Rouge Advocate talks some LSU football.

Vince Young proves that his low Wunderlich score wasn’t a fluke; punches teammate’s helmet with throwing hand.  The Tennessean.

Tech group files complaints against sports leagues over fair use.

Michigan State head coach Mark Dantonio expects the Spartans to be bowl bound in ‘07.

A nice story on the rise of Michigan true quarterback Ryan Mallett. Expect to see Mallett some playing time this season in mop-up duty. In time, I firmly believe Mallett will prove to be a much better quarterback than his rival Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen. 

The State (Columbia, S.C.) ranks the SEC quarterbacks.

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart ranks the SEC best running backs.

The NFL to produce a Vince Lombardi biopic.
__________

Well-rounded news…

The University of Iowa could become the first university to name one of its colleges after a corporation following a $15 million gift from Blue Cross and Blue Shield.

Disney has pulled the plug on its plans for a ‘Ratatouille’ wine.

Two-a-days are becoming a thing of the past in the NFL.

Even investment bankers love them some Facebook.

Blogger thinks new Bourne film is an attack on the Bush administration.

Wyclef says Lauryn Hill is the reason there hasn’t been a Fugees reunion.

Halo 3 to feature online multi-player co-op.

Tech blog Valleywag urges Facebook to stop counting its money and fix the site.

First season of Heroes to come out on DVD later this month. YES!

John Mayer, Dave Matthews and Nas set to play gig at Virginia Tech in September.

Cinematical reviews The Bourne Ultimatum, which I am excited beyond words to see tomorrow night.  Another review from Time Magazine.

Robert Downey, Jr. talks about playing Iron Man.

Rumors swirl over the title of J.J. Abrams’ new project. Some production stills from the set.

The Detroit Free Press interview Cold War Kids frontman Nathan Willett.

Not everyone was a fan of Rocco Dispirito’s cameo on Top Chef last night.

Entertainment Weekly wants to know who you like more: Bond or Bourne?

American Airlines will test in-flight broadband next year.

Over my morning bowl of cheerios, I watched Mike and Mike this morning and thought the show posed a very interesting question, “Do sports fans care about scandals?” The answer to that question, though, as the pair found out is very complex. As it pertains to steroids in baseball, I don’t care about steroids in baseball or Barry Bonds breaking Hank Aaron’s home run record because I just don’t care about baseball. There are enough things in the world for me to be outraged about so much so that I don’t need to feign outrage in anything. But I think with sports scandals in general, sports fans just get worn out. I can’t listen to sports talk radio hosts talk about Michael Vick anymore, or Tim Donaghy or Barry Bonds. I just don’t want to hear it. And it’s not that I don’t care about those stories. I’m just tired. I need a nap from scandals.

In more exciting news, my hometown,Terre Haute, Ind., totally got a shout-out during Tony Dungy’s appearance on Letterman last night to plug his new book.

__________

No, seriously…

A 16-year-old drove his truck to an island in the middle of a shallow Pennsylvania river and couldn’t get back.

Inmates split on Woody Allen.

__________

Eagles corner Sheldon Brown says leveling Reggie Bush in the playoffs last year was like running through a cardboard box.

New Steelers coach Mike Tomlin is already putting the team through the ringer.

What is Brady Quinn thinking? I think on draft day, everybody was kind of pulling for the guy to get drafted because of the embarrassment he caused himself by showing up to the draft without knowing where he would go or how far he’d fall. And now he has grossly overestimated his value and is pissing off an entire city that wants to embrace him. Cleveland wants to love Brady Quinn. He needs to quit acting like a petulant child and get to camp. What a dope.

You can still chew snuff at Tennessee football games but Neyland Stadium will now be smoke-free .

Bobby Petrino trying to keep the Falcons focused on the game on the field. Good luck.

LSU senior tailback Alley Broussard is leaving the team.

Matt Leinart’s legal battle with his ex-girlfriend Brynn Cameron could get very public and very messy.

Cotton Bowl executives are lobbying to make the Dallas-based bowl a BCS bowl.

SI’s Stewart Mandel on how the Michael Vick scandal has effected Virginia Tech.

Eagles draftee Kevin Kolb signs with the team. I was so hoping for a holdout.

Boise State running back (and publicity hound) Ian Johnson has hired extra security for his weekend wedding following racist threats.

___________

Well-rounded news…

USAToday profiles fanboys.

Naomi Watt, Stuart Townsend and Joseph Fiennes have all been cast for roles in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Not so fast.

Blockbuster may be losing money but it’s beating Netflix, says BusinessWeek.

Facebook founder finds himself in court; being sued by former colleagues.

Though relatively small companies, XM and Sirius merger is huge for the future of satellite radio, says Washington Post.

Has the mystery behind J.J. Abrams’ “mystery” project been solved?

How a movie poster got me totally excited for a Western.

The cover of Bottom Line fav. Kanye West’s new album, Graduation.

Blender’s top 25 most influential people in online music.

The Huffington Post’s Eric Williams thinks a Seth Rogan-led Green Hornet movie, or any Green Hornet movie, is a bad idea.

With all of the Michael Vick news, you could ever want below, Today’s Line will be (thankfully) free of any Vick-related stories.

__________

No, seriously…

Dressing monkeys in diapers with the beautification of a city in mind.

__________

The phenomenon of 7-0n-7.

The wife of troubled Devil Ray Elijah Dukes makes some very strong accusations in the couple’s divorce proceedings.

Duke football turns to the university’s business school for help with program.

The Baltimore Sun’s Rick Maese thinks Beckham’s arrival will have little effect on the perception of the MLS stateside.

A Virginia Tech golfer uses tragedy as motivation to win British Amateur.

The Indiana High School Athletic Association has no plans to test the state’s high school athletes for steroids. I think this is a huge mistake. As someone who played high school football in the state of Indiana I can tell you that some kids are looking for anyway to get a competitive advantage and get noticed by college scouts. What you don’t want is kids taking these easy-to-get OTC supplements and playing drugstore cowboy and taking whatever they want, however they want. It’s a shame that the state has opted not to join Florida, New Jersey and Texas on the forefront of this issue.

The State (Columbia, S.C.) looks at the effect the Confederate flag has on the state’s athletes.

Former Houston Oilers remember their first training camp in Nashville.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s Tony Barnhart says Arkansas has the SEC’s easiest schedule.

LeBron James will host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live in the fall.

ESPN’s Steve Davis says the competition in the MLS is tougher than most people think.

USAToday’s takes a pre-season look at the Philadelphia Eagles.

The Boston Globe’s Peter May is not too impressed with the Magic signing forward Rashard Lewis.

The Worldwide Leader’s Gene Wojciechowski talks about the Beckham press conference last Friday.

Former Worldwide Leader talking head, and one of the Bottom Line’s most self-important people in sports, Dan Patrick to be brought to you in every way, shape and form.

The NFL has officially lost it.

Minnesota coach Tim Brewster has dismissed four Golden Gophers from the team in connection to an ongoing sexual assault case. Hmm, no one’s been convicted but the coach still had the integrity to kick them off the team. Getting any ideas, Arthur Blank?

Gary Player says there is steroid use in golf.

Cell phones have been banned from this year’s British Open.

CBS Sportsline’s Mike Freeman ranks the top 10 dirtiest college football programs.

Minnesota Wild goon Derek Boogaard teaches little kids how to properly throw down on the ice. What a complete moron this guy is. Any parent of a young hockey player with a functioning brain wouldn’t think of taking their kids to this stupid thing.

__________

Well-rounded news…

The last installment of the Harry Potter series hits eyeballs a week early.

You might want to re-think taking that homemade iPod charger through airport security.

Wired’s Epicenter blog wonders if Digg will shut down posts and comments with the address to the pirated copy of the last Harry Potter book.

iPhones shut down Duke University wi-fi.

The New York Daily News’ Jack Mathews lists his favorite flicks of ‘07 so far.

A nice look at VH1’s weekly skankfest “Rock of Love.”

Tim Russert would love to have Bruce Springteen on “Meet the Press”.

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is saying there are no Facebook IPO plans — yet.

Zach Braff and creator Bill Lawrence has confirmed that this will be the last season of Bottom Line fave ‘Scrubs’.

Fox’s ‘House’ is getting some new blood for season four.

Back from the weekend and hours of Live Earth listening and watching. I think overall the performances were pretty run-of-the-mill if not dull. I think the effect this event will have on people may be their awareness of their everyday decisions that could effect the environment but that can’t be the only residual effect. That concert was supposed to be about widespread, global policy change at the highest level. Not just me making sure my lights are off when I leave my apartment in the morning or buying non-toxic, biodegradable dish soap at Publix (which I did yesterday, I’m answering the call). The genius of Live Earth was that it let everyone know, myself included, that there are so many things you can do to lessen your environmental impacts but isn’t that a little like rummaging through couch cushions for loose change? The only way the global climate crisis (if you believe it to be such) is going to be impacted in any significant way is if governments (like ours) get involved and gets concerned. Then and only then can real, substantial changes be made.

__________

No, seriously…

Man assaults brother with lawn gnome.

Boy named Hell barred from Australian catholic school.

A man in New Hampshire robbed a bank dressed as a tree.

__________

The Detroit Free-Press offers ways to rebuild Michigan State football.

The Tennessean answers some burning pre-season SEC questions.

The Oklahoman says the Sooners have to hitch their wagon to wideout Malcom Kelly if they want to win the Big 12.

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer’s Ted Miller takes on LSU’s Les Miles’ comments about the Pac-10. And then follows up today after being bombarded with e-mails. SEC fans are as defensive of their schedule as Notre Dame fans are about how weak the Irish’s schedule is annually.

Major League baseball is not letting Worldwide Leader broadcast from the site of this week’s All-Star game. Finally a baseball story I can get behind.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution wonders how hard it would be for the Falcons to move Michael Vick.

New York Magazine on how best to get your mug on television at a game. Here’s a hint: bring a kid, preferably your own or one that you know. Kidnapping is a felony.

West Virginia running back Noel Devine: The next Reggie Bush or the next Pacman Jones?

Brian Dawkins is saying that if all the Eagles’ playmakers play at their highest-level, the Birds can pack their bags for Glendale. Your lips to God’s ears, Brian.

New York Magazine on how not to get beat up at a baseball game.

The story out of Buffalo keeps getting more bizarre. Daniel Briere’s agent is refuting the claims made by Sabres management about negotiations between his client and the team.

The Buffalo News’ Jerry Sullivan says Sabres management need to take some responsibility for how poorly handled this off-season has gone for the team.

Dan Patrick is leaving the Worldwide Leader to pursue “new endeavors.” These endeavors will include looking at himself in the mirror for a minimum of three hours a day, erect a Taj Mahal-like shrine to himself in his backyard and, of course, writing love notes to Keith Olbermann.

__________

Well-rounded news…

Mark Cuban’s spat with the Dallas Morning News.

Live Earth expected to break records in internet streams.

Facebook to go public?

Sony cuts the price of the PS3 by $100. Microsoft to follow suit?

Northwest Airlines has announced that it is now accepting Paypal as a valid form of payment for airline tickets. Great news for consumers. Now you can buy that $2.25 autographed 8×10 glossy of Pauly Shore and a trip to see your mom the same way.

Voters are already showing signs of fatigue from the ‘08 presidential race and the election is still 16 months away.

Variety’s Steven Mirkin takes the Live Earth telecast to task.

Jim Carey will play Ebeneezer Scrooge in an upcoming Robert Zemeckis version of “The Christmas Carol.” According to reports, Carey will play at least four roles in the film, which will utilize performance capture technology similar to those in the Zemeckis/Hanks Christmas vehicle, The Polar Express.

Voting has wrapped up on Time’s New Seven Wonders of the World.

One of my favorite authors, Chuck Klosterman, talks to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

Time Magazine’s Bryan Walsh on what Live Earth really meant.

Newsweek wonders just how green Live Earth really was.

__________

Inside baseball…

Slate’s Jack Shafer says the new color of sensational journalism is green.

With traffic in Destin the past week at almost unbearable levels, I’ve had a lot of time to listen to XM Radio and if there’s one job that I don’t envy right now, it’s that of sports talk radio hosts. There is NOTHING going on right now in sports that anyone cares about. The All-Star game? Not really. NASCAR? Nope. It’ll likely be another sports-free weekend for yours truly unless Federer and Nadal meet in the Wimbledon final.. or Roddick and Nadal … ok, I guess I’ll be watching tennis Sunday morning.

__________

No, seriously…

Your mom told you not to play with fireworks.

Droughts are hurting winos as well.

A drunk 11-year-old girl led police on an 8-mile high-speed chase in Alabama last night.

To catch a toddler… Illinois police used the lure of a happy meal to catch a 4-year-old who had called 911 over 300 times.

A 5-year-old boy took a rabid fox at a cookout in North Carolina. Between the rabid foxes and the piranha, I’m officially scratching North Carolina off my list of places to visit before I die.

__________

The Indianapolis Star’s Bob Kravitz looks at how Pacers management has completely bungled this offseason.

Put all of Buffalo on suicide watch: The Edmonton Oilers have put in an seven-year, $50 million offer sheet in for restricted free agent forward Thomas Vanek, who had 43 goals last season. The Sabres have seven days to match the offer. Update: The Buffalo News is reporting that the Sabres will match Edmonton’s offer sheet.

Pittsburgh Pirates CEO Kevin McClatchy will step down at the end of the year. But not before the Bucs complete their 15th consecutive losing season.

Dhani Jones has signed with the Saints. Congratulations, New Orleans! You get a linebacker who dresses better than he plays. This guy was an absolute bum for the Eagles and I was ecstatic when the Birds gave him his walking papers. But look at this way, now the Saints linebacking corps features Mark Simoneau and Dhani Jones. Congrats, really.

The Arizona Republic’s Nick Piecoro wonders whether Randy Johnson was worth a $24 million commitment from the D-Backs as he goes back on the DL.

The Oklahoma football team will use helmets this season designed to detect the early signs of a head injury.

One San Fransisco Chronicle columnist thinks next week’s All-Star game is the most “overhyped” sporting event in the history of the Bay Area sports.

The Orlando Sentinel’s Mike Bianchi said he was disappointed to learn that Grant Hill had taken a deal with the Suns.

The Los Angeles Times Bill Plaschke thinks the Lakers need guard Derek Fisher to help steady the recently tumultuous franchise and help team chemistry. You know what else would help team chemistry? Kobe Bryant not ripping his teammates for two morons with a camera phone.

__________

Well-rounded news…

You have 12 hours to vote on Time’s New Seven Wonders of the World.

Fergie denies being paid by a clothing line to drop the name of the company in her lyrics. If you’re seriously looking to Fergie for musical integrity, you have problems that go well beyond listening to Fergie.

‘Who will buy Facebook?’ becoming hot question.

Microsoft will take a $1 billion hit this quarter because of the number of general hardware failtures on the XBOX 360.

The number of Facebook users is up 89% from last year and the demographics appear to be shifting from undergrads to postgrads and teens.

Interesting piece in BusinessWeek about the socioeconomic differences between MySpace and Facebook users. The author suggests that the two social networking sites may not be in direct competition after all.

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are writing another script.

Keith Olbermann urges Bush and Cheney to resign. I don’t necessarily agree with what he’s saying but I still think Olbermannis self-important and smarmy. And isn’t this just grandstanding? I mean do you really think the Prez and the Veep are at home watching MSNBC and listening to Olbermann’s indictment of their character and saying, “Oh, alright, Keith. You win!”

Avril Lavigne is being accused of plagiarizing her hit, “Girlfriend.” Wait, you mean to tell me that Avril Lavigne didn’t come up with that gem on her own?

__________

The most hated man in the Philadelphia area (and throughout Eagle nation) today is Houston quarterback Kevin Kolb who the Eagles inexplicably took with their first pick in this weekend’s draft.

I just don’t understand. I agree with the Kolb pick or picking any quarterback for the future because McNabb’s health is questionable and Kelly Holcombe and career backup A.J. Feely are not the future of the Eages but to take him there is puzzling. The pick is especially frustrating given that the Eagles took him with a pick they got from a trade with the Cowboys. I hope that Donovan McNabb likes the sight of Demarcus Ware and Anthony Spencer flying off the edge because that’s a sight he’ll be enjoying twice a year.

When any Eagles fan looks at the roster there are glaring weaknesses, most of which are in the secondary. Sean Considine is a nice player but he’s not a starting strong  safety in this league and behind Lito Sheppard and Sheldon Brown, there’s not a whole hell of a lot (sorry Joselio Hanson and Will “James” Peterson) and don’t even get me started on our wide receiver depth. So you would think with that first pick the Eagles would take a d-back right? No. They took Kevin Kolb, a kid that was listed by most scouts at the 6 or 7th best quarterback in the draft, depending on how good you thought John Beck, Trent Edwards or Drew Stanton were.

I’m unbelievably frustrated.

Looking at the Eagles draft, I’m honestly puzzled. I think that the only good pick they had on day 1 was Tony Hunt, who had a great Senior Bowl week and will be a great big-back to spell Brian Westbrook in short yardage situations and the Victor Abiamiri pick isn’t a terrible pick but doesn’t speak to any of the needs the Eagles have right now. I think Josh Gattis could be a nice player and their selection of Brent Celek shows their dedication to L.J. Smith.