In case you’d be living in a cave, the major cable companies are currently at odds with the NFL and the Big Ten about how to carry their respective networks in local markets, with consumers stuck in the middle.

Basically what’s happening is that the cable companies want to carry the NFL and Big Ten Networks as part of special sports bundles that their customers would pay more for, reducing viewership and ostensibly add revenues. Well the NFL and the Big Ten want the cable companies to carry the channels as part of basic packages, no different from channels like ESPN, MTV, Comedy Central, etc.

What’s interesting about this whole issue, for me, is that I think both sides of this argument are being equally petulant and silly. The argument the cable networks have pitched is completely without merit. Their claim is that it’s unfair to tack the networks onto basic cable and require customers to pay for channels they don’t want. Well the last time I checked, I’ve never watched HGTV or Discovery Health, Telemundo or any of those channels that broadcast church services but I still pay for those channels and as a consumer, I have an expectation that I’m going to pay for channels that I don’t watch, it’s just a fact of life. Cable isn’t one of those make your own six-packs. You get the whole case or you get nothing at all. The contingent that cable companies are trying not to aggravate are the heady academics (the “.edu guys” as ESPN radio host Colin Cowherd refers to them). The people who think we overemphasize athletics in our society and flat refuse to contribute monetarily in anyway.

Meanwhile, the Big Ten and the NFL refuse to let their networks and their programming (which aside from the actual game broadcasts is pretty useless) exist on fringe pay-for sports bundles. On basic cable, they will get more viewership which will drive up their ad revenues. While I can’t blame them for that, I can blame them for holding games hostage and irritating people who love their product. Doesn’t seem like the best business model to me. When you take something that I could normally watch and enjoy hassle-free and charge me for it, I get pretty grouchy.

The cable companies and the NFL and the Big Ten can play the blame game all day but the reality is that no one comes out of this mess clean.

With all due respect to Vic Carruci of NFL.com, a great sportswriter who I grew up reading in the Buffalo News, he’s out of his mind.

Pittsburgh is for real.

In an article today on NFL.com, Carruci writes that he is unmoved by Pittsburgh’s complete dismantling of Baltimore on Monday night and is not willing to include the 6-2 Steelers among the league’s elite. And I think he’s nuts.

For me, it wasn’t that the Steelers obliterated the Ravens, it was how they did it. For me a perfect encapsulation of the personality of this team was when Hines Ward went right at Ed Reed, arguably one of the league’s best defensive players and de-cleated him. This team isn’t afraid of anyone. Not New England. Not Indianapolis. Not anyone.

An offense that is coming together nicely is paired with the league’s best defense. Check the books. 1st in points allowed, 1st in yards allowed, 1st in passing yards allowed and fourth best in the league against the rush. If Ben Roethlisberger can string together games like the one he had Monday night, a game where, irrespective of the touchdowns he threw, he played within himself and was accurate, this team is going to be very scary come playoff time.

Mark it down. If the Steelers have to travel to the RCA Dome in January to play the Colts. They will beat them. Soundly.

Someone, anyone, explain to me what, in God’s name, Emmitt Smith is talking about.

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Having seen the girlfriend off to college, the weekend was a pretty eventful one that had me tethered to the couch for a majority of it. Having watched some football and a ton of TV. I have a number of things to rant about this morning. Let’s start chronologically.

I TiVo’d Friday nights Minnesota/Jets preseason game knowing full well that I was really only interested in the first quarter to see how rookie Adrian Peterson would do along with first year starter Tavaris Jackson for the Vikes. What I saw was Chad Pennington put in the worst preseason performance by a starter that I’ve seen in a long time. On the flip side, Adrian Peterson looked fantastic. He is a strong, quick runner that will be giving tacklers fits all season long. I am not sure that is a more dangerous runner in the open field than AD. The jury is still out on Jackson. Because of Pennington’s slip-ups, Jackson only saw 2 or 3 series of work and spent a great deal of time handing the ball off to Chester Taylor and Peterson. The Vikings could be a very interesting team to watch this year.

Saturday, I watched an absolute ton of Survivorman as it was apparently the wrong weekend to sign up for a season pass of the show. I think at last count, I watched 5 episodes of the program and 7 still remain unwatched on my DVR. It’s pretty incredible stuff. I’ve also become addicted to the travel/food show No Reservations with Top Chef guest judge and blogger Anthony Bourdain. A really fun watch.

Last night, I caught the first bit of the Giants/Ravens preseason game and shook my head at how ineffective Eli Manning is as a quarterback. The Peyton comparisons are warranted and inevitable but ultimately pointless. Eli is and never will be half the quarterback and leader his brother is. But forget Peyton for a second. Where does Eli list on the greater list of NFL quarterbacks? Top 10? Absolutely not. He’s probably one of the top 15 quarterbacks in the league. One could argue that he may be the 15th-20th best quarterback in the league given that he has not exhibited, so far, anything closely resembling leadership qualities. If the Giants are going to be successful this year, they will need Eli Manning to take control of the reins and make this his team. I just don’t see that happening.

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No, seriously…

The mayor of Cincinnati might be a little too sensitive.

Brazil to offer free sex changes.

A plastic cut-out cop shooting a radar gun is slowing drivers down in Tennessee (insert Tennesee joke here.)

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ESPN’s Mark Schlabach makes five predictions for the SEC this year/the power in the conference is moving east.

Nets forward Richard Jefferson gives $3.5 million to his alma mater.

Giants defensive end Michael Strahan expected to end holdout by this weekend.

SI’s Peter King is reporting that Falcons owner Arthur Blank feels deeply betrayed by Michael Vick.

The U.S. Open holds tryouts for “ball people.”

THE DAILY BIRD 

• Philadelphia Inquirer’s Ashley Fox: Team has questions to answer.
• Les Bowen has something similar.
• Inquirer’s Phil Sheridan: All is right with Eagles, McNabb

New York Daily News writer dubs Virginia Tech “America’s Team.”

Brady Quinn a “knockout” in Browns debut.

Alabama corner Simeon Castille arrested for disorderly conduct.

Former USC tailback Emmanuel Moody not blaming USC for this transfer.

Dan Hawkins names son starting quarterback at Colorado.

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Well-rounded news… 

The Federal Trade Commission is still trying to block the Whole Foods/Wild Oats merger.

Dickens World will make your bratty kids grateful for what they have.

Veronica Mars’ Kristen Bell will join the cast of ‘Heroes.’

Kanye samples Steely Dan on new record.

J.K. Rowling is reportedly working on a detective novel.

Michael Schennum/The Arizona Republic

He must be working realllllly hard. No, seriously. Go to a gym today and try to do tricep exercises like that with a towel on your head and do some substantial weight and see how long that towel stays on your head.

Notice how no one in the picture is looking at Leinart. Maybe Anquan Boldin is doing bicep curls with Neil Rackers out of frame.

I love NFL football as much as the next guy. I’m a die-hard Philadelphia Eagles fan and I’m pretty sure I’m going to die an Eagles fan. I’ve told friends that if I loved any girl half as much as I loved the green and black, then I’d marry her on the spot. But I REFUSE TO GET EXCITED ABOUT SCHEDULES!

If we’ve learned nothing from the NFL in recent years, it’s that anything can happen. The Saints went from one of the most pitiful franchises in the NFL post-Katrina and was one game away from the Super Bowl last year. Anything can happen. Any year could be the year for your team. And that’s what makes the NFL great. So how do you expect me to be able to look at a team’s schedule in APRIL and get excited about, let alone consume hours worth of meaningless speculation about said schedule? Enough is enough.

And then there’s this today in the Philadelphia Daily News, where Hall of Fame coach Don Shula is flabbergasted by “how fans eat up NFL news.” But Don, I don’t need a two-hour special with pyrotechnics and juggling gophers to announce the schedule.  In fact, I’m perfectly with happy to go to the team’s website say in AUGUST and check out who my teams playing in ‘07. I don’t need that information in April. I just don’t.

We love the NFL, don’t make us start hating it.