I’ll get to my usual list of stories that I think are cool and noteworthy but first this. One of my weekly rituals at work is checking the iTunes music store for anything that might strike my fancy. Usually, I’m in the market for exclusive live recordings from some of my favorite bands or other equally cool things but today I saw something that just goes above and beyond stupid. For just $11.99, you can pre-order your very own copy of the Live Earth performances. When you order your copy today, you get the live recording of John Mayer’s Waiting on the World to Change (I’m a self-professed Mayer fan, recovering Mayer addict but if I hear that song again, I’m going to hurt someone). But here’s the thing, there are 13 tracks … and you have no idea what they are when you throw down 12 of your hard-earned schekles to pre-order this compilation. But it gets better, when can you expect to see the CD that you pre-ordered? “Later this summer,” according to the description on the iTunes store. Unreal, so you have no idea what’s on it and you have no idea when it’s going to come out but you want me to buy it because with it, I can download the only song I know for a fact is on the record but it’s a song that I hate with such passion that for the three and a half minutes that song’s on the radio I wish I were deaf. No, thanks. Do the organizers of this concert really have that little respect for the people they’re trying to reach? I mean, really. Unbelievable.

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No, seriously…

A juror in England is being charged with contempt of court after it was discovered that she was listening to her MP3 player during a murder trial.

A Cape Cod man told a judge that he was a homophobic racist with a propensity for telling lies in an attempt to avoid jury duty.

Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen dished out $12 million for a 40-foot yellow submarine.

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A pretty solid piece in the San Diego Union-Tribune on the decline of the sports trading card industry.

Ex-Purdue QB Brandon Kirsch wishes he had stayed at Purdue instead of acting like a petulant child and stupidly declaring early for the NFL draft. The reality is that there was a reason why Kirsch played behind Kyle Orton and why he was replaced in his junior year by redshirt freshman Curtis Painter — he’s not a very good quarterback.

The New York Daily News looks at which team is likely to land A-Rod when he opts out of his contract with the Yankees at the end of this season. What?! The Pirates didn’t make this list?! Come on.

Chicago Sun-Times columnist and resident screamer on Around the Horn Jay Marriotti volunteers himself for a ruthless beating in his column today.

Michael Jordan’s son, Jeff, becomes college basketball’s most celebrated walk-on.

Interesting story in the Dallas Morning News about former Nevada forward and Dallas Maverick Nick Fazekas.

Former Iowa guard Pierre Pierce is out of prison and back on the basketball court. I think that one of the lines in this story perfectly summarizes why people like Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson continue to find themselves on pro rosters. “He is here at the invitation of the Warriors, who are intrigued enough by his potential — and undeterred by his past — to offer a summer-league spot…” This guy has been twice convicted of charges related to sexual assault and just served an 11-month prison sentence. The people of the Bay Area should be vocal and make sure this guy doesn’t make the roster and represent their community.

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Well-rounded news…

Will there be an iPhone nano?

I’m tired of hearing about The Simpsons Movie but you can vote on just which Springfield is the real Springfield.

Head of EA says video games need to be more innovative.

Good piece in Newsweek on Digg founder Kevin Rose.

The heat of summer is hurting consumers at the pump in more ways than one.

Chicago film critics are not happy that Fox is trying to control press on their films by limiting press screenings.

The Kings of Leon are apparently at odds about drummer Nathan Followill getting married.

Bloc Party will be heading to North America for a tour this fall. Luckily for my girlfriend (who unabashedly hates Bloc Party), the band will not be playing Atlanta.

The Beverly Hills mansion of William Randolph Hearst can be yours for $165 million.

Spike Lee is saying he is not a part of ‘mainstream’ Hollywood.

More on J.J. Abrams’ mystery project.

Back from the weekend and hours of Live Earth listening and watching. I think overall the performances were pretty run-of-the-mill if not dull. I think the effect this event will have on people may be their awareness of their everyday decisions that could effect the environment but that can’t be the only residual effect. That concert was supposed to be about widespread, global policy change at the highest level. Not just me making sure my lights are off when I leave my apartment in the morning or buying non-toxic, biodegradable dish soap at Publix (which I did yesterday, I’m answering the call). The genius of Live Earth was that it let everyone know, myself included, that there are so many things you can do to lessen your environmental impacts but isn’t that a little like rummaging through couch cushions for loose change? The only way the global climate crisis (if you believe it to be such) is going to be impacted in any significant way is if governments (like ours) get involved and gets concerned. Then and only then can real, substantial changes be made.

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No, seriously…

Man assaults brother with lawn gnome.

Boy named Hell barred from Australian catholic school.

A man in New Hampshire robbed a bank dressed as a tree.

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The Detroit Free-Press offers ways to rebuild Michigan State football.

The Tennessean answers some burning pre-season SEC questions.

The Oklahoman says the Sooners have to hitch their wagon to wideout Malcom Kelly if they want to win the Big 12.

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer’s Ted Miller takes on LSU’s Les Miles’ comments about the Pac-10. And then follows up today after being bombarded with e-mails. SEC fans are as defensive of their schedule as Notre Dame fans are about how weak the Irish’s schedule is annually.

Major League baseball is not letting Worldwide Leader broadcast from the site of this week’s All-Star game. Finally a baseball story I can get behind.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution wonders how hard it would be for the Falcons to move Michael Vick.

New York Magazine on how best to get your mug on television at a game. Here’s a hint: bring a kid, preferably your own or one that you know. Kidnapping is a felony.

West Virginia running back Noel Devine: The next Reggie Bush or the next Pacman Jones?

Brian Dawkins is saying that if all the Eagles’ playmakers play at their highest-level, the Birds can pack their bags for Glendale. Your lips to God’s ears, Brian.

New York Magazine on how not to get beat up at a baseball game.

The story out of Buffalo keeps getting more bizarre. Daniel Briere’s agent is refuting the claims made by Sabres management about negotiations between his client and the team.

The Buffalo News’ Jerry Sullivan says Sabres management need to take some responsibility for how poorly handled this off-season has gone for the team.

Dan Patrick is leaving the Worldwide Leader to pursue “new endeavors.” These endeavors will include looking at himself in the mirror for a minimum of three hours a day, erect a Taj Mahal-like shrine to himself in his backyard and, of course, writing love notes to Keith Olbermann.

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Well-rounded news…

Mark Cuban’s spat with the Dallas Morning News.

Live Earth expected to break records in internet streams.

Facebook to go public?

Sony cuts the price of the PS3 by $100. Microsoft to follow suit?

Northwest Airlines has announced that it is now accepting Paypal as a valid form of payment for airline tickets. Great news for consumers. Now you can buy that $2.25 autographed 8×10 glossy of Pauly Shore and a trip to see your mom the same way.

Voters are already showing signs of fatigue from the ‘08 presidential race and the election is still 16 months away.

Variety’s Steven Mirkin takes the Live Earth telecast to task.

Jim Carey will play Ebeneezer Scrooge in an upcoming Robert Zemeckis version of “The Christmas Carol.” According to reports, Carey will play at least four roles in the film, which will utilize performance capture technology similar to those in the Zemeckis/Hanks Christmas vehicle, The Polar Express.

Voting has wrapped up on Time’s New Seven Wonders of the World.

One of my favorite authors, Chuck Klosterman, talks to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

Time Magazine’s Bryan Walsh on what Live Earth really meant.

Newsweek wonders just how green Live Earth really was.

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Inside baseball…

Slate’s Jack Shafer says the new color of sensational journalism is green.

Now, don’t confuse that statement with me believing that global warming is not a problem with potentially catastrophic effects on the lives of our children and our children’s children. I do believe that more needs to be done to reduce our fossil fuel emissions and we need to pressure our government to help fund the research and development of cleaner alternative energy sources. But I don’t think a concert can do any of that.

I believe I’ve always been naturally cynical but I also believe that my job has amplified that cynicism by a factor of 5. And I may be being cynical but I do not believe that this concert will do anything but provide a full-day of decent music, maybe a few surprise collaborations that are semi-noteworthy and further ascend Al Gore to his role as a liberal deity.

My beefs with the concert start really at the most basic. First of all, there’s the name. Live Earth? Is that really the best they could do? I mean I know Al Gore isn’t a creative genius but I guess I expected something more from the man who invented the internet. If I were Bob Geldof, I would have been giving my lawyer a call. Stupid name.

Secondly, there’s the cause this concert is promoting. This is a cause that I believe most reasonable people are aware of. I doubt anyone is going to turn on Bravo at 9 a.m. tomorrow and have their brains blown out their ears because K.T. Tunstall is telling him that the polar ice caps are melting, a fact they were previously unaware of and needed it explained to them by a Scottish songstress. Secondly, I don’t think a concert has the ability to influence a global or even national policy change on this issue. I don’t think members of the Bush administration are going to see Fergie or UB40 on stage and go “You know, I think we’ve been wrong about this whole thing.”

Now this is not to say that I won’t watch some of tomorrow’s events because some of my favorite bands and acts (i.e. Bloc Party, Keane, Damien Rice, David Gray) will be performing and I’m mildly interested to see Smashing Pumpkins reunite but I don’t think this concert will do what it’s setting out to do. At its core, the concert is setting out to raise awareness about global climate change but who isn’t aware of that already? And if there are people who have no idea what global warming is, chances are (hopefully) they’re not in a position to make the kind of changes necessary anyway.

I am all for people trying to make a difference and doing as much as they can, as often as they can but this concert seems completely self-aggrandizing. Maybe not for the acts themselves, who may believe that they’re doing the right thing but certainly for Al Gore, who may or may not be eyeing another run at the presidency in ‘08.

I think we need to be very careful about the message we’re sending. Arctic Monkeys drummer Matt Helders told NME that the reason the band passed on playing the UK gig was that the whole thing seemed “hypocritical.”

“We’re using enough power for ten houses just for lighting,” he explained. “It’d be a bit hypocritical [if we played Live Earth].”

So remember, going to a concert in New Jersey, doesn’t make you an environmental activist. Especially if you arrived there in an SUV your dad bought you.