__________

No, seriously…

Emus love Wal-Mart.

That’s news to me: VA tells woman she’s dead.

That’s assault, brotha: Schoolchildren in Colorado no longer allowed to play tag.

Woman makes it known that she’s paranoid and racist at San Fransisco airport.

British crooks try tunneling to ATM.

___________

Colorado QB Cody Hawkins on being “the coach’s kid.”

Hokies to honor shooting victims before Saturday’s game against ECU.

No favorites in Heisman race, says SI writer.

Gamecocks oft-arrested freshman quarterback Stephen Garcia gets redshirt.

ESPN takes over “Two-A-Days.”

Browns fans vote on Quinn’s coif, prefer it long.

Nice piece in the New York Times on Jets rookie linebacker David Harris.

A story in the Washington Post about the beasts USC has at linebacker.

Is the Big Ten overrated or did it have a bad week last year?

Hoosiers trying not to think about emotions as gameday without Hep approaches.

‘07 Gators have challenge ahead, say ‘97 Gators.

Georgia will be tested, says former Oklahoma State coach Les Miles.

Pac-10 has worst refs, coaches say.

Andy Reid should have stayed home to deal with family issues, Inquirer columnist says.

VT players prepare for rush of emotions Saturday afternoon.

Will Demetrius Jones start for Notre Dame Saturday?

Slate combs college message boards.

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette picks the top college football games this year.

Ainge breaks pinkie, will start Saturday.

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart predicts the conference champions.

The Big 12 eyes a return to the top.

The Pac-10 needs to make a BCS stand.

UCLA, Cal poses biggest threat to USC’s Pac-10 supremacy.

Cal’s strategy is simple: get the ball in the hands of DeSean Jackson.

____________

Well-rounded news…

Trailer up for Steve Carell’s new movie “Dan in Real Life”

MTV bored enough to make reality television show about high school newspaper.

So why are Americans eating so much shrimp?

The producers of Lost sound off on Island’s new residents.

Is there a Magneto movie in the works?

Cinematical misses the pre-Earl Jason Lee.

Monday I mentioned seeing the trailer for The Kingdom and being really excited about it. One of the other trailers before the Bourne Ultimatum was for Ridley Scott’s American Gangster staring Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe and… Common. Check it out.

Click here to view the embedded video.

__________

No, seriously…

A 10-year-old accidentally locked himself in a gun safe at a Massachusetts’ Sam’s Club.

An Australian cattle rancher spent a week in a tree after falling off his horse in a swamp chock-full of alligators.

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ESPN has launched bracket-style tournament to decide which conference will be strongest in 2007.

• ACC vs. Big 12
• Pac 10 vs. Mountain West
• WAC vs. Conference USA
• WAC vs. SEC

SI writer says USC freshman Joe McKnight is the second coming of Reggie Bush.

Fanhouse’s Pac 1o preview.

• Coaches on the hot seat.
• The teams not named USC or Cal.
  
• Top 5 games.
  
• Most underrated players.

A member of the Rutger’s Women’s Basketball team is suing Don Imus for defamation of character. This woman doesn’t have a snowball’s chance of winning this suit because her attorneys will have a very difficult time showing that she was specifically damaged by a comment that was made about a group of individuals, comments where no one was named individually. It would be the equivalent of someone saying that all Destin Log reporters were illiterate and possibly in-bred and then me trying to sue that person for defamation. You can’t sue someone for hurting your feelings — at least not yet.

John Smallwood on why it’s ok to overreact about the Eagles’ preseason snooze-fest. The Eagles are apparently not worried.

The New York Times says the greatest threat to Michael Vick’s future in the NFL may not be dogfighting specifically but rather the money he may or may not have gambled on dogfighting.

Giants rookie wideout Steve Smith has the Giants very excited.

Indiana football players will wear a helmet decal and a patch on their jerseys in memory of Coach Hep.

Photo: Sam Riche/ Indianapolis Star

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart lists his must-watch games of 2007.

With a bunch of youth and inexperience, the Orlando Sentinel’s Dave Curtis says Florida will experience some growing pains in ‘07.

Going to Broncos’ games help Darrent Williams’ mother cope with her son’s death.

Ankle problems seem to be plaguing Florida wide receiver Percy Harvin.

An interesting piece on hetero-lifemates, Urban Meyer and Billy Donovan, which features this photograph:

Whoever pranked neanderthal tight end Jeremy Shockey is officially my new hero.

Dan Patrick is back on ESPN radio for the next three days and word is Colin Cowherd will not be taking his place.

Peter King’s All-Future team.

Apparently there was a confrontation at a UCLA pick-up game between Baron Davis and USC FRESHMAN O.J. Mayo. You don’t think this kid’s going to be a total headache, do you Tim Floyd? Good luck.

The AJC’s Terence Moore thinks if Michael Vicks takes a plea deal, he’ll likely be banned from the NFL for a long time.

__________

Well-rounded news… 

An interesting take on journalistic objectivity and politics.

Peer-to-peer file sharing network Lime Wire appears to be going legit.

My So-Called Life movie not likely, says Claire Danes.

The Knocked Up dvd will hit stores Sept. 25 with three editions.

Daft Punk is looking to release a live CD.

Site of Coachella 300 years overdue for a massive earthquake.

I also saw Ron Howard’s The Paper with Michael Keaton, Glenn Close and Robert Duvall and really enjoyed it. I think it was very true to life at a newspaper and the actors were really convincing newspeople. I don’t think this film is as true to form as a picture like Shattered Glass but was every bit as enjoyable. The flick is perfect for a rainy day. Definitely worth a spot on your Netflix queue.

Currently blasting the speakers on my MacBook and in my car is Kanye West’s new single Stronger which features an amazing slowed-down sample of Daft Punk’s “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.” The song is fantastic and really embodies everything that I unashamedly love about Kanye West. The guy is inventive and not at all afraid to take risks. Can’t wait to pick up Graduation when it comes out on Sept. 11.

Worth mentioning was the trailer for Peter Berg’s The Kingdom that I saw before The Bourne Ultimatum, which I am more excited about then I can even describe. Jamie Foxx, Hillary Swank, Jason Bateman and the imcomparable Chris Cooper in what looks like it could be one of the best films of the year.

__________

No, seriously…

British teen OD’s on espresso.

Some moron paid more than $1,500 for an oil smudge on a garage floor in Virginia. It doesn’t even look like Jesus. Frankly, it looks like a goat.

__________

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach lists college football’s biggest secrets in ‘07.

Lawrence Taylor tells Michael Strahan to hang it up.

Saints linebacker Scott Fujita sets the record straight on his water park foot injury.

Pair of pieces from ESPN’s Pat Forde on Kentucky quarterback Andre Woodson and on Darren McFadden going pro after this season.

DC United player pissed about ESPN’s Beckham-centric MLS coverage.

Jon Gruden is still sifting through his pack of quarterbacks.

Not really news but I find it interesting that every week there is a letter from a reader in the Buffalo News about how awful Sabres management is. Every week, never fails.

Hoosiers hope to improve their pass rush. It really can’t get any worse.

The AJC’s Terence Moore wants Michael Vick’s staunchest supporters to wake up and smell the roses.

A nice piece in the Houston Chronicle on Texas A&M quarterback Stephen McGee.

Packers first-round pick Justin Harrell sees limited time in preseason opener. This might have been the worst first-round pick in last year’s draft.

In case you live in a cave: MADDEN COMES OUT TOMORROW!

Drew Henson fighting for his football life in Vikings camp.

Titans players defend their ownership of pit bulls.

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart on why the SEC is smiling and the things college football fans have learned a week into practice.

Oklahoma quarterback race still not decided.

__________

Three consumer groups have spoken out against the Whole Foods/Wild Oats merger.

Google to launch iTunes competitor, gBox.

Who owns what in today’s online media landscape.

Microsoft is hoping the release of the Halo 3 this winter can help the system rebound from hardware failures and slumping sales.

Christopher Nolan debuts some ‘Dark Knight’ footage at Chicago comic con. I can’t wait for this but it seems that the producers have gone 0-for-2 in my mind in the casting of Rachel Dawes’ character. First they casted Katie Holmes, who was the worst thing about Batman Begins and now they’ve gone out and gotten Maggie Gyllenhaal who is my least favorite actress on the planet. I have never seen a single film that she’s been in that I enjoyed. I hope she can change my mind.

Cinematical lists seven movie stars who are about to fall off the A-list.

Stereogum has the real cover of Kanye’s new record, Graduation.

Facebook makes the cover of Newsweek.

Newsweek’s 25 hottest universities.

As if you needed another reason to buy Kanye’s new record, 50 cent says that if West’s Graduation outsells his record, which comes out the same day, he’s going to stop making music. (Your lips to God’s ears, sir.)

Top Chef’s Sam Talbot on the now-infamous Rocco episode.

____________

No, seriously…

Pittsburgh hospital takes a stand against crocs.

AMC doesn’t carry nickels?

Apparently life is tough when you share a name with a boy wizard.

___________

Is this the last year for D-Nabb in Philly?

McNabb appears to be showing promise early in training camp.

The Ocho Cinco has some money set aside for fines.

More of the Fanhouses Big Ten preview:

• Most overrated players
• Coaches on the hot seat
• Key position battles
• The five best players
• The underdogs
• Toughest schedules

Penn State QB Anthony Morelli is confident but is he overconfident?

Virginia Tech hopes football season will mark a return to normalcy.

Joe Theismann says he urged Tony Kornheiser to stick with Monday Night Football.

Eagles fans crash Cowboys training camp.

The Colts are parting ways with defensive tackle Corey Simon.

Pro d-backs put Indiana wideout James Hardy through his paces.

‘Browns insider’ says Brady Quinn’s agent is the reason rookie QB isn’t in camp yet.

Wolverine players tell Jim Harbaugh where to go over academic criticisms.

SI’s Peter King says Brady Quinn is a fool for not being in camp.

What a dope Michael Strahan is.

Joe Paterno considers staying in the press box. Consider this — retire.

Wilbon on the death of Bill Walsh.

IU to pay tribute to Coach Hep on uniforms, helmets.

Big Ten commish Jim Delaney proving once more that he really is a complete idiot.

UCF is loving their new digs.

Baton Rouge Advocate talks some LSU football.

Vince Young proves that his low Wunderlich score wasn’t a fluke; punches teammate’s helmet with throwing hand.  The Tennessean.

Tech group files complaints against sports leagues over fair use.

Michigan State head coach Mark Dantonio expects the Spartans to be bowl bound in ‘07.

A nice story on the rise of Michigan true quarterback Ryan Mallett. Expect to see Mallett some playing time this season in mop-up duty. In time, I firmly believe Mallett will prove to be a much better quarterback than his rival Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen. 

The State (Columbia, S.C.) ranks the SEC quarterbacks.

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart ranks the SEC best running backs.

The NFL to produce a Vince Lombardi biopic.
__________

Well-rounded news…

The University of Iowa could become the first university to name one of its colleges after a corporation following a $15 million gift from Blue Cross and Blue Shield.

Disney has pulled the plug on its plans for a ‘Ratatouille’ wine.

Two-a-days are becoming a thing of the past in the NFL.

Even investment bankers love them some Facebook.

Blogger thinks new Bourne film is an attack on the Bush administration.

Wyclef says Lauryn Hill is the reason there hasn’t been a Fugees reunion.

Halo 3 to feature online multi-player co-op.

Tech blog Valleywag urges Facebook to stop counting its money and fix the site.

First season of Heroes to come out on DVD later this month. YES!

John Mayer, Dave Matthews and Nas set to play gig at Virginia Tech in September.

Cinematical reviews The Bourne Ultimatum, which I am excited beyond words to see tomorrow night.  Another review from Time Magazine.

Robert Downey, Jr. talks about playing Iron Man.

Rumors swirl over the title of J.J. Abrams’ new project. Some production stills from the set.

The Detroit Free Press interview Cold War Kids frontman Nathan Willett.

Not everyone was a fan of Rocco Dispirito’s cameo on Top Chef last night.

Entertainment Weekly wants to know who you like more: Bond or Bourne?

American Airlines will test in-flight broadband next year.