I feel the need to sort of blow one perception completely out of the water. As you may have been aware, ESPN aired its psuedo-award show, the ESPYs, last night (I was aware but was watched Rock of Love with Bret Michaels anyway). I just heard one of its talking heads on the radio, patting the network on the back and suggesting that the ESPYs had finally arrived and was “The Oscars or the Emmys of Sports.”

No notion could possibly be more preposterous. To suggest that the ESPYs mean serve any other function than to further exalt ESPN to its rightful place as the Worldwide Leaders in Sports is completely ridiculous. Say some punt returner wins an ESPY for Play of the Year. If that same player were to go to his respective team when his contracted expired and say, “Hey, I think I deserve to make this much as an ESPY winner.” Chances are he’d get laughed out of the room. Now if an actor won an Oscar or an Emmy, their value to studios or networks increases exponentially and it can be used as a bargaining chip. The ESPYs are nothing more than a completely contrived product of ESPN and should not be taken seriously in any way, shape or form.

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No, seriously…

You should really get rid of any drugs on your person before asking the cops for a ride home.

A Florida woman complained to a cop that a man had sold her bad crack.

A man crashed into a South Carolina police officer with 43 pounds of marijuana in his car.

Telemarketing isn’t for everyone.

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Newsweek’s Devin Gordon questions the role ESPN plays in today’s sports landscape.

Carson Palmer points out some of Ed Reed’s weaknesses as a safety.

NFL commish Roger Goodell reduced the 4-game suspension of Chiefs defensive end Jared Allen to just two games to match his two drunk driving arrests.

New Orleans is trying to convince the NFL to move the NFL Draft to the Big Easy.

South Carolina freshman quarterback Stephen Garcia is real close to getting himself kicked off the team. This kid can’t seem to keep himself out of trouble and as far as character issues are concerned, he has to raise about every red flag there is. I guess if you can throw a football 60 yards on the fly, it doesn’t matter if you key a professor’s car.

The finale of the Fanhouse’s best quarterbacks of the SEC.. guess who’s number 1?

On the night of the NBA draft, the New Jersey Nets reportedly passed on a deal that would have sent Jermaine O’Neal to the Nets for Richard Jefferson, Nenad Krstic and Jason Collins.

Madden champions might be awarded championship rings.

The Baton Rouge Advocate’s Scott Rabalais warns not to expect any changes to the BCS anytime soon.

A nice story about Deion Sanders in today’s Dallas Morning News.

The Arizona Super Bowl Host Committee is expecting 800 to 1,000 corporate jets to descend on area airports when the Super Bowl is played in February.

Apparently, I’m not the only one who hates ESPN’s stupid ‘Who’s Now?’ tournament.

Sports blog Awful Announcing explains why so many people hate ESPN.

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Well-rounded news…

Slate questions Toyota’s “Little Deviants” ad campaign. I felt the same way the author of this piece does when I first saw this spot. It was before a movie and I was sitting there thinking, “Wow, this is really violent and inappropriate.” I think whoever greenlighted this campaign could end up paying for it with their job.

Robert De Niro’s next foray into directing will be a depiction of the 1949 Chinese Revolution.

Fox is keeping a very tight lid on the new Simpsons Movie and most critics won’t see the film until three days before it hits movie theatres everywhere. I’ll be very interested to see how this film does. I don’t think that anyone I know watches the Simpsons with any regularity but I still think the popularity of the series is undeniable and I think the movie will do very well… not Harry Potter well.. but it will rake in some box office bucks..

Johanna Bennett, ex-girlfriend of Arctic Monkeys frontman Alex Turner, talks about how the pair co-wrote the band’s infectious “Fluorescent Adolescent.”

The fourth season of Bottom Line fav Top Chef will be shot in Chicago.

Bravo will premiere eight, one-hour episodes of “Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style,” starting in September. They’ve ordered another season of Project Runway but last I’d heard it was not certain that Gunn would return for a fourth season. Just a memo to Bravo, no more Shear Genius or Top Design, no one’s watching and those shows are garbage.

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