7:03 p.m. Luke Menard is first. Apparently it’s 80s night. The night gets an ominous start with Menard laboring through Wham!’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” Just awful, bizaree and horrendous. Randy called it corny. Paula tries not to criticize a bad performance before inexplicably commenting that she loves it. Simon calls it girly and said there’s no chance he makes it to the final 12. See ya, Luke and not a moment too soon.

7:09 p.m. David Archuleta belts out Phil Collin’s Another Day in Paradise, a song that I remember loving from my childhood as my dad was a big Collins fan and a big fan of Genesis. I didn’t like the rendition and thought it suffered by comparison to the original. It seemed reserved and restrained. Randy Jackson called it “nice.” Paula said she liked the off notes because it proved he wasn’t perfect. Simon said it wasn’t as good as last week and said he was becoming too gloomy and needs to lighten up. He makes it through easily but a good performance by another guy or girl this week could see someone else take the front-runner position from the pixie-like Archuleta.

7:19 p.m. Danny Norriega does a bizarre cabaret version of Tainted Love. I think the arrangement is horrific as are Norriega’s awkward attempts to sex up the song by moving his head a lot and strutting around. What’s interesting about Tainted Love was while it was made popular by Soft Cell in 1981, it was actually originally recorded in 1964. Should this disqualify Norriega? Randy said he likes it but wants to see some conviction, he calls the flamboyant Norriega vocally shy. Paula rambles incoherently for a while before complimenting him on being true to himself and telling him to get the purple streaks out of his hair. Simon calls it horrible and absolutely useless. I think Norriega is in serious danger of being voted off but a couple bad performances later tonight night by Chikeze or another of the other guys could keep him around a week.

7:24 p.m. David Hernandez belts out a pretty strong rendition of “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now.” I think Hernandez is a dark horse in this competition and could threaten Archuleta as the top boy. Randy said it was good but he overshot the notes at times but complimented the song choice. Paula says he’s becoming a good performer and that he has some of the best vocals in the competition. Simon said he prefers Hernandez’s voice when singing more soulful songs. Hernandez then attempts to schmooze with the judges about his choose, which comes off a little disingenuous and cheesy. He’ll have plenty of time to trade fashion tips with the judges for a couple more weeks — he’s through easily.

7:32 p.m. Michael Johns comes out with Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds. At first I thought I was going to really like this, as I’ve not been a Johns fan so far. The verses and choruses were a little shaky but he ended strong. Randy said he loved it, despite confusing Simple Minds who were Scottish and with INXS who were Australian, as Johns is. Paula said he’s unique and different. Simon said he likes it but said he hasn’t had his breakout moment yet and calls him a wannabe rockstar despite finishing his critique by saying that he “really, really” likes him. He gets through easily but I don’t see him as one of the final two guys.

7:40 p.m. David Cook straps on his guitar for a second week in a row and does a rock version of Lionel Richie’s Hello. I really honestly hate this — I hate it a lot. I think it’s creative but I think he’s using the guitar as a crutch and it distracts from some of the problem with his vocals. The beginning of the song was a total nightmare. Randy said the performance was emo and “brilliant.” Paula calls it fabulous and said she believes he’s going to be a “great, shining star.” Simon said it was brave and that he loved it, kind of surprising considered the harsh words he had for the thinning-haired corporate rocker. He’s through, hands down but can’t hold a candle vocally to Archuleta or Hernandez but could vie for that third-best dude spot with Johns.

7:44 p.m. Jason Castro comes out, sans guitar, and does Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” The song, for me, suffers by comparison to the Jeff Buckley cover, one of the most beautiful covers ever. Castro doesn’t have the voice to carry the song and you could tell he was reaching for notes that he just doesn’t have. Randy said it’s brave but doesn’t comment on what he thought of the performance. Paula rambles on about how good it is… clearly the medication is kicking in. Simon pledges his love for the Buckley version and then dumps praise on Castro, who appears to be about as coherent as Paula. I think he goes through and it breaks my heart to see him screech through one of my favorite songs ever. I officially have disdain for Jason Castro and will openly campaign for his departure until he is sent home, which if not this week will certainly be next week or the week after. He just doesn’t have the voice, period.

7:53 p.m. Chikeze comes out and does a song that I honestly don’t recognize. I’ve seen this before from Chikeze. He smiles a lot, kind of shuffles from side and hits a couple good notes. It’s boring. Randy said he thought it was really good and compliments the song choice. Paula said his vocals sounded really good tonight. Simon said it didn’t work and called it cabaret and didn’t think singing a song recorded by Whitney Houston to be a bad idea. I think people may forget to vote for Chikeze. He could go home this weekend.

Paula describes the night’s performances with two words: “Phu-Nomenal.” You really can’t make this stuff up. I think there are four people in serious jeopardy this week. Danny Norriega, Chikeze, Luke Menard (who is going home this week, without question) and Jason Castro.

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