Ok so I’m posting Wednesday’s Line on Thursday morning but hey.. it’s a week from the start of college football season. That is really the best way to diffuse any escalating situation. If you get in a fender bender with someone and the large gentleman you’ve just rear-ended going 80 steps out of his car armed with a hammer, just say, “Week from college football season!” And if that doesn’t work…. run?

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No, seriously… 

The cops in Oakland are mean.

Dog burglars on the loose in Seattle.

Boy ‘assaults’ elderly man with cocktail weiner.

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ESPN tries to make me hate college football with 25-hour pregame show.

Donovan McNabb blogs on the departure of veteran linebacker Jeremiah Trotter.

Stephen A. Smith will no longer be writing columns for the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Stephon Marbury proves once and for all that he grew up under powerlines.

ESPN’s Mark Schlabach with five predictions for the Big Ten.

Eli Manning and Tiki Barker are feuding over comments Barber made during the Giants preseason game on Sunday. New York Daily News.

USC’s Patrick Turner is ready for a breakout year at receiver.

TROT FALLOUT 

• Daily News’ Les Bowen
• ‘Shocked Trotter takes his release in stride,’ Ashley Fox
• ‘Trotter’s passage isn’t that shocking,’ Rich Hofman
• ‘Trotter grew into role as top Birds defender,’ Les Bowen

Eric Gordon and the other Hoosier freshmen in Kelvin Sampson’s sick’07 recruiting class have arrived on campus.. begin the countdown to Midnight Madness!

Michael Vick will not find a place to play in Canada.

Chiefs running back Larry Johnson ends holdout, inks new deal.

Browns target unruly fans.

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart wonders if Alabama can shock the college football world this fall. I’m going with no.

Kevin Costner to fight to keep the College World Series in Omaha.

NFL will be fine after Vick, says Tim Cowlishaw.

Oklahoma quarterback race over; Sam Bradford named starter.

Redskins rookie LaRon Landry drawing rave reviews.

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‘Heroes’ mania is too much, too soon, says Boston Globe critic.

Slashfilm’s ten best movie endings.. kind of a curious list.

Christian Bale not approached for Justice League movie.

A Ferris Bueller sequel? Oh no..  Is nothing sacred?

Bottom Line fave Cold War Kids plan headlining tour, do support dates for White Stripes.

One week from the release of the first season of Heroes on DVD. Can’t wait. I started to watch the show on iTunes earlier this summer and got hooked but couldn’t stand watching television on my computer without being on a plane.

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No, seriously…. 

Getting drunk and feeding bears is a really bad idea.

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Iowa State fans will get a chance to vote on the Cyclones’ new helmet design.

Interesting piece on Louisiana native and Hoosier corner Tracy Porter.

A scathing indictment of Michael Vick by AJC columnist Jeff Schultz.

The Dallas Morning News’ Jean-Jacques Taylor argues that Vick should not get a lifetime ban from the NFL.

The Eagles have parted ways with veteran linebacker Jeremiah Trotter.

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Well-rounded news… 

HD DVD scores in battle with Blu-ray.

Is MTV scared of internet music?

Rumor has it, Ryan Reynolds will play The Flash in a future Justice League flick.

The Movie Blog advocates banning cell phones in movie theaters.

Wolfmother frontman gets into it with groupie over cell phone picture.

Disney concludes that Harry Potter theme park would be an expensive nightmare, says Slate.

Of course the news of the past two days is (soon-to-be former) Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick entering a guilty plea to his federal dogfighting charges.

As the word “guilty” left his lips in a Virginia courtroom, Michael Vick’s NFL career fell by the wayside. Michael Vick will have to confirm that every grisly detail in that indictment is true and in so doing, he will, once and for all, bury his NFL career and leave everyone wondering what might have been for Mike Vick.

Vick is likely to serve at least a year in federal prison and last I checked, prison’s don’t staff strength and conditioning coaches. Yes, I do think that once he gets out of prison, some owner or GM somewhere in this league will remember the athlete Vick once was and give him a tryout but he will never again be the star he once was. Michael Vick is, without a doubt, an incredibly famous football player but yesterday he became infamous.

But looking back on Vick’s career, the buzz word has to be “potential.” After all, that’s all Vick’s career really amounted to. Every training camp the Falcons would go to camp hoping that this would be the year that Michael Vick would finally come into his own as a quarterback. That year never came for the Falcons and now it doesn’t look as if it will ever come for Michael Vick.  I mean, let’s face it, Michael Vick was never even a very good quarterback in this league and once he’s released from prison, he’ll be lucky to fill the third slot on a depth chart.

Everyone is waiting to see how NFL commish Roger Goodell will take to being lied to. My guess is not very well. Vick is done for this season, serves ‘08 in prison and looks to make his return to the league in ‘09 but  Goodell will remember sitting across from Vick and being assured that the quarterback had nothing to do with dogfighting and suspend him for 2009 as well. Good riddance.

VICK STEALS HEADLINES 

Having seen the girlfriend off to college, the weekend was a pretty eventful one that had me tethered to the couch for a majority of it. Having watched some football and a ton of TV. I have a number of things to rant about this morning. Let’s start chronologically.

I TiVo’d Friday nights Minnesota/Jets preseason game knowing full well that I was really only interested in the first quarter to see how rookie Adrian Peterson would do along with first year starter Tavaris Jackson for the Vikes. What I saw was Chad Pennington put in the worst preseason performance by a starter that I’ve seen in a long time. On the flip side, Adrian Peterson looked fantastic. He is a strong, quick runner that will be giving tacklers fits all season long. I am not sure that is a more dangerous runner in the open field than AD. The jury is still out on Jackson. Because of Pennington’s slip-ups, Jackson only saw 2 or 3 series of work and spent a great deal of time handing the ball off to Chester Taylor and Peterson. The Vikings could be a very interesting team to watch this year.

Saturday, I watched an absolute ton of Survivorman as it was apparently the wrong weekend to sign up for a season pass of the show. I think at last count, I watched 5 episodes of the program and 7 still remain unwatched on my DVR. It’s pretty incredible stuff. I’ve also become addicted to the travel/food show No Reservations with Top Chef guest judge and blogger Anthony Bourdain. A really fun watch.

Last night, I caught the first bit of the Giants/Ravens preseason game and shook my head at how ineffective Eli Manning is as a quarterback. The Peyton comparisons are warranted and inevitable but ultimately pointless. Eli is and never will be half the quarterback and leader his brother is. But forget Peyton for a second. Where does Eli list on the greater list of NFL quarterbacks? Top 10? Absolutely not. He’s probably one of the top 15 quarterbacks in the league. One could argue that he may be the 15th-20th best quarterback in the league given that he has not exhibited, so far, anything closely resembling leadership qualities. If the Giants are going to be successful this year, they will need Eli Manning to take control of the reins and make this his team. I just don’t see that happening.

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No, seriously…

The mayor of Cincinnati might be a little too sensitive.

Brazil to offer free sex changes.

A plastic cut-out cop shooting a radar gun is slowing drivers down in Tennessee (insert Tennesee joke here.)

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ESPN’s Mark Schlabach makes five predictions for the SEC this year/the power in the conference is moving east.

Nets forward Richard Jefferson gives $3.5 million to his alma mater.

Giants defensive end Michael Strahan expected to end holdout by this weekend.

SI’s Peter King is reporting that Falcons owner Arthur Blank feels deeply betrayed by Michael Vick.

The U.S. Open holds tryouts for “ball people.”

THE DAILY BIRD 

• Philadelphia Inquirer’s Ashley Fox: Team has questions to answer.
• Les Bowen has something similar.
• Inquirer’s Phil Sheridan: All is right with Eagles, McNabb

New York Daily News writer dubs Virginia Tech “America’s Team.”

Brady Quinn a “knockout” in Browns debut.

Alabama corner Simeon Castille arrested for disorderly conduct.

Former USC tailback Emmanuel Moody not blaming USC for this transfer.

Dan Hawkins names son starting quarterback at Colorado.

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Well-rounded news… 

The Federal Trade Commission is still trying to block the Whole Foods/Wild Oats merger.

Dickens World will make your bratty kids grateful for what they have.

Veronica Mars’ Kristen Bell will join the cast of ‘Heroes.’

Kanye samples Steely Dan on new record.

J.K. Rowling is reportedly working on a detective novel.

A special weekend post from yours truly. I was watching an episode of Conan I had TiVod (new verb) from last week and was fortunate enough to catch a set from comedian Ian Edwards. Hilariously funny stuff. I was able to find his set on YouTube. The shark attack bit is priceless.

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A couple thoughts on last night’s Chiefs/Dolphins preseason game. It’s hard to take preseason performances seriously especially when you’re talking about potential starters but Trent Green did not look good last night. He underthrew a couple receivers and continued to look rusty. Ronnie Brown, who looked great last night, will be forced to carry a lot of the load for that offense if Green doesn’t become the efficient and accurate passer he once was. For the Chiefs, it’s clear that Damon Huard should be the week one starter if KC is to compete in the AFC West with Denver and San Diego.

Everyone throw a couple of prayers up to the big guy for Donovan McNabb who makes his return to the field tonight. I worry that he rushed his rehab after the Birds took Kevin Kolb in the draft and that knee is not ready. We’ll see. I’m hoping for the best.

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No, seriously… 

Even insurance fraud can be painful.

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D-Nabb returns to the field tonight.

The Big Ten Network isn’t being picked up by cable carriers.

USC tailback Emmanuel Moody is headed out of L.A.

Miami Herald columnist wonders if Trent Green can still be good.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers want a cooler training camp facility at Walt Disney World.

The Orlando Sentinel on Chris Simms’ fall from grace.

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Netflix to drop prices yet again to compete with Blockbuster.

Disney’s Hollywood Studio to have an entire land dedicated to George Lucas?

The Huffington Post’s Liza Palmer on why Lost is like a bad relationship.

A whopping 18 stills from The Dark Knight!

Move-in day on the campus of Virginia Tech.

Yes, I know it’s more than two weeks from the official start of the 2007 college football season but I’ve already printed out the schedule for week 1 and will soon set my TiVo. When we get closer to the start of week one, I’ll pick a game of the week and a list of winners of every game over the weekend to track how I’m doing throughout the season.

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UCLA at STANFORD - 3:30 p.m. 

It’s the official beginning of the Jim Harbaugh/Captain Comeback era at Stanford and this game will prove a very interesting test for the Cardinal, and the Bruins in week one. This is sort of a baptism by fire for Harbaugh, who will be forced to show if he can actually coach or if he’s just good at spreading rumors about Pete Carroll leaving USC and lobbing grenades at this alma mater.

WHO YA GOT? The Ben Olson/Chris Markey combination on offense will be too much for Stanford’s porous defense.. even at home. I’m taking the Bruins.

GEORGIA TECH at NOTRE DAME - 3:30 P.M. 

Charlie Weis is still posturing that he’s not going to start Jimmy Clausen in week 1 against Georgia Tech but my guess is that this game will be the beginning of the Clausen era in South Bend. The Irish defense will need to stop Tashard Choice and the GT running game. On the other side of the ball, with senior quarterback Reggie Ball gone, this will be the first real road test for first year starter Taylor Bennett,

WHO YA GOT? Gotta go with the Irish at home. Even though Notre Dame lost Brady Quinn, Darius Walker, Rhema McKnight and Jeff Samardjiza, none of those losses offset the impact Calvin Johnson leaving GT early will have on that Georgia Tech offense. With CJ, this is probably a Georgia Tech win but without him, I got the Irish by at least 7.

WAKE FOREST at BOSTON COLLEGE - 3:30 p.m. 

Jim Grobe and last year’s Wake Forest team was college football’s best Cinderella story last year and this early season Atlantic division matchup at Chesnut Hill will show if the stage coach turned back into a pumpkin. Both squads return competent signal callers in Riley Skinner and Matt Ryan. This is a huge game for Jim Grobe’s team as far as confidence building is concerned and a win on the road at BC, who is favored to win the Atlantic, would be huge for the Demon Deacons. but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

WHO YA GOT? The BC defense is very tough and very seasoned and I don’t anticipate them having a tough time throwing blitz packages at Riley Skinner and confusing him into throwing a bad interception or two. I’ll take the Eagles by at least 7.

MISSOURI AT ILLINOIS - 3:30 P.M. 

Ron Zook surprised the college football universe last year when he snagged some of the nation’s top recruits, specifically wide receiver Arrelious Benn. I don’t see this game even being close. Missouri is a far better team than is Illinois and I expect Mizzou QB Chase Daniel to have a big game against a weak Illinois secondary. I will be very interested to see if Zook opens up the offense and lets QB Juice Williams air it out to Benn a couple times and give the Illini faithful something to look forward to.

WHO YA GOT? A no-brainer. Mizzou by at least 10.

TENNESSEE at CAL - 8:00 P.M. 

I don’t think I saw a worse performance by a quarterback in a big game last year than Nate Longshore’s tank job at Rocky Top. Defensive coordinator John Chavis called one of the best defensive games of the year last year confused and frustrated Longshore and stopped future first-rounder Marshawn Lynch essentially snubbing the running back’s Heisman hopes in week one. Back for the Golden Bears are Longshore, running back Justin Forsett and wide receiver DeSean Jackson. This year’s game could make for one of the year’s best.

WHO YA GOT? This is one of those games that you hate to prognosticate because you know whoever you pick, you have a substantial chance of being wrong. I’m still going with Cal at home. I think what happened last year was a total embarrassment to Tedford and to the program and they’ll be hungry to exact some revenge. It will be a very tight game could be decided by 3 points or less.

FLORIDA STATE AT CLEMSON - 8:00 P.M.

When I interviewed Bobby Bowden a couple months ago, he cited the week 1 game at his son Tommy and the Clemson Tigers at Death Valley as the most important game of the year for his ‘Noles. And it is. Forget that FSU opens the season against a conference foe on the road, the game will be a crucial game for Drew Weatherford/Xavier Lee/Jimbo Fisher and the Florida State offense. Equally as important is the FSU defense who will be handed the dubious task of stopping James Davis and C.J. Spiller, one of the nation’s best running tandems.

WHO YA GOT? Feeling pretty good about Florida State in this one. Clemson starts its third quarterback in as many years and lost a good portion of its defense and won’t be able to match the firepower that Florida State will bring with them from Tallahassee.

I have officially joined the TiVo revolution. While it is an unbelievable technology, it will not official begin paying dividends in my life until football season where I’ll be able to TiVo games that I won’t be able to watch. An added bonus is that I get to watch shows that I used to watch in college that I am now too old to stay up for (i.e. Conan). So far, I’m very impressed.

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No, seriously… 

A chinese couple have tried to name their baby ‘@’.

A man in Muncie is my new hero.

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Fanhouse’s Big East preview.

• Impact freshmen.
  
• Top 5 players
• Coaches on the hot seat.
• Five biggest games
• Most underrated.

Georgia Tech QB punks defensive end in practice.

The Philadelphia Daily News’ Les Bowen says it may not be time to give up the Eagles defense — yet.

Eagles guard Shawn Andrews is having ankle problems and defensive end Jerome McDougle is out for the year — again, securing his place as one of the biggest first-round busts in franchise history.

The Washington Post’s Michael Wilbon on gambling in sports.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette’s Ron Cook thinks the Steelers must start 2nd year Santonio Holmes.

The Detroit Red Wings have unveiled their new sweaters — which look just like the old ones.

Chris Leak is strugg-a-ling to make the Bears roster.

Jon Gruden is tired of talking about Chris Simms.

SI writer Cory McCartney breaks down the nation’s top rushing tandems. 

More of ESPN’s breakdown of the top conferences in college football.

• Pac 10 vs. Big Ten
• SEC vs. Big 12

Pat Forde says SEC is king.

New York Red Bulls player blogs for the Times about meeting Beckham.

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Apparently there’s a fetus on facebook.

Slate’s Jack Shafer thinks newspaper need to admit more of their factual errors in print.

Edward Norton talks to the Los Angeles Times about his Incredible Hulk script.

Entertainment Weekly reviews the Seth Rogan-penned, Judd Apatow-produced Superbad.

       RESTAURANT WARS 

As the contestants stated, Restaurant Wars has become one of the most anticipated challenge and last night may have shed some very interesting light on how the judges are viewing the chefs this season. It appears as if they have adapted a “what have you done for me lately?” kind of attitude and are taking the chefs on a challenge-by-challenge basis. I think this is the wrong way to go and ultimately will leave us with another lackluster winner (sorry Ilan) at the end of the season. Judging by the previews, I think one of the heavy-hitters (see: Casey, C.J., Tre, Brian) could be leaving us next week.

This week (SPOILER ALERT) no one went home though there were some candidates for knife-packing. Howie, once again, continues to show that he knows everything and no one else knows anything. Like last week with his Cuban, Howie ran his mouth about how he knew how to cook risotto and has cooked it 100 times and proceeds, in true Howie fashion, to butcher it. It’s time to send Howie home and be done with his bullheaded stupidity once and for all.

Sara continues to ride the middle of the road and goes out of her way to fly under the radar. I don’t think she’s going home next week though she is clearly the least talented chef still in the competition at this point.

Dale’s choice of scented candles for his team’s restaurant almost cost him last night. But the chefs got a hold of themselves and remembered that this is Top Chef not Top Design and spared Dale. Likewise for Brian who ran the front of the house about as badly as you could have. The secret dinner guest/blogger took a shot at his sweatiness and on behalf of sweaty dudes everywhere, I feel ya Malarkey. Walk it off.

Tre burned and then inexplicably served potatoes that he knew were burned and it probably should have cost him last night. I think he’s one of the strongest chefs in the competition but has to be much smarter about what he’s putting on the plate.

Some other takes on this week’s episode:

• Anthony Bourdain
  
• Gail Simmons
• Ted Allen
• Huffington Post blogger Jane McGivney
• EW’s Gregory Kirschling

The video below was one of my favorite moments of last year’s college football season. It’s West Virginia quarterback Pat White openly mocking Pitt.

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Currently loving Common’s new record, Finding Forever. Simply put the guy is one of the most clever and talented lyricists in history. The beginning of the record reminds me of the Black Star and Common’s collaboration with Lilly Allen is amazing and infectious and as always Kanye’s appearances on this record are memorable and bump-worthy.

Monday I mentioned seeing the trailer for The Kingdom and being really excited about it. One of the other trailers before the Bourne Ultimatum was for Ridley Scott’s American Gangster staring Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe and… Common. Check it out.

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No, seriously…

A 10-year-old accidentally locked himself in a gun safe at a Massachusetts’ Sam’s Club.

An Australian cattle rancher spent a week in a tree after falling off his horse in a swamp chock-full of alligators.

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ESPN has launched bracket-style tournament to decide which conference will be strongest in 2007.

• ACC vs. Big 12
• Pac 10 vs. Mountain West
• WAC vs. Conference USA
• WAC vs. SEC

SI writer says USC freshman Joe McKnight is the second coming of Reggie Bush.

Fanhouse’s Pac 1o preview.

• Coaches on the hot seat.
• The teams not named USC or Cal.
  
• Top 5 games.
  
• Most underrated players.

A member of the Rutger’s Women’s Basketball team is suing Don Imus for defamation of character. This woman doesn’t have a snowball’s chance of winning this suit because her attorneys will have a very difficult time showing that she was specifically damaged by a comment that was made about a group of individuals, comments where no one was named individually. It would be the equivalent of someone saying that all Destin Log reporters were illiterate and possibly in-bred and then me trying to sue that person for defamation. You can’t sue someone for hurting your feelings — at least not yet.

John Smallwood on why it’s ok to overreact about the Eagles’ preseason snooze-fest. The Eagles are apparently not worried.

The New York Times says the greatest threat to Michael Vick’s future in the NFL may not be dogfighting specifically but rather the money he may or may not have gambled on dogfighting.

Giants rookie wideout Steve Smith has the Giants very excited.

Indiana football players will wear a helmet decal and a patch on their jerseys in memory of Coach Hep.

Photo: Sam Riche/ Indianapolis Star

The AJC’s Tony Barnhart lists his must-watch games of 2007.

With a bunch of youth and inexperience, the Orlando Sentinel’s Dave Curtis says Florida will experience some growing pains in ‘07.

Going to Broncos’ games help Darrent Williams’ mother cope with her son’s death.

Ankle problems seem to be plaguing Florida wide receiver Percy Harvin.

An interesting piece on hetero-lifemates, Urban Meyer and Billy Donovan, which features this photograph:

Whoever pranked neanderthal tight end Jeremy Shockey is officially my new hero.

Dan Patrick is back on ESPN radio for the next three days and word is Colin Cowherd will not be taking his place.

Peter King’s All-Future team.

Apparently there was a confrontation at a UCLA pick-up game between Baron Davis and USC FRESHMAN O.J. Mayo. You don’t think this kid’s going to be a total headache, do you Tim Floyd? Good luck.

The AJC’s Terence Moore thinks if Michael Vicks takes a plea deal, he’ll likely be banned from the NFL for a long time.

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Well-rounded news… 

An interesting take on journalistic objectivity and politics.

Peer-to-peer file sharing network Lime Wire appears to be going legit.

My So-Called Life movie not likely, says Claire Danes.

The Knocked Up dvd will hit stores Sept. 25 with three editions.

Daft Punk is looking to release a live CD.

Site of Coachella 300 years overdue for a massive earthquake.